A Bible Study About Forgiveness at Bread On the Waters (BOW)

Welcome To The
Battle Bow
Bible Teaching Series
by
Kraig Josiah Rice

A Bible Study About

(doctrine of mainline Christianity)
written by
Kraig Josiah Rice

TABLE OF CONTENTS
(Clicking on these internal links will move you down this page)

What Is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness Is Identification With Christ
Some Old Testament Scriptures on Forgiveness
Some New Testament Scriptures on Forgiveness
Forgiving God
Does God Always Forgive?
Jonah's Attitude
When Do You Have to Forgive?
Christian Counseling
Will You Go to Hell if You Don't Forgive?
Our Forgiveness and God's Justice
Is Rejection Showing Unforgiveness?
Forgiving Yourself
Forgiving History
Get Rid of Your Excess Baggage
Some Opinions of Others About Forgiveness
Conclusion

Words of Holy Scripture in purple symbolizing royalty
Words of Christ in red symbolizing His shed blood

What Is Forgiveness?
A wise teacher once said, "If you don't ask God for forgiveness, you won't get it." That's the rule of forgiveness between man and God. Jesus taught, "So if you are standing before the altar in the Temple, offering a sacrifice to God, and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you (and treated you badly), leave your sacrifice there beside the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person (give your forgiveness to him or her). Then come and offer your sacrifice to God"
(Matthew 5:24-24). That's the rule of forgiveness between man and man. Another kind of forgiveness is when you forgive someone who you know will never come to you and ask you for it. That is the exception to the rule of forgiveness. Forgiveness is like a large flowing river- it flows in many different directions. But before we get into the main study of forgiveness I want to bring your attention to a man named Zacchaeus. Here is what the bible says about him:
"Jesus entered Jericho and made his way through the town. There was a man there named Zacchaeus. He was one of the most influential Jews in the Roman tax-collecting business, and he had become very rich. He tried to get a look at Jesus, but he was too short to see over the crowds. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree beside the road, so he could watch from there. When Jesus came by, He looked up at Zacchaeus and called him by name. "Zacchaeus!" He said. "Quick, come down! For I must be a guest in your home today." Zacchaeus quickly climbed down and took Jesus to his house in great excitement and joy. But the crowds were displeased. "He has gone to be the guest of a notorious sinner," they grumbled. Meanwhile, Zacchaeus stood there and said to the Lord, "I will give half my wealth to the poor, Lord, and if I have overcharged people on their taxes, I will give them back four times as much!" Jesus responded, "Salvation has come to this home today, for this man has shown himself to be a son of Abraham. And I, the Son of Man, have come to seek and save those like him who are lost"
(Luke 19:1-10).
Zacchaeus was rich, but he was spiritually bankrupt. He had money, but he didn't have peace in his heart. He wanted something from Jesus- that's why he climbed the tree. He was not after physical healing. He wanted to see Jesus- maybe even to touch him from his perch. How many of us are like Zacchaeus? We have deep emotional and spiritual needs that only Jesus can meet? To eat with someone is to have fellowship with him. Jesus knew Zacchaeus had an empty heart. They ate together. Zacchaeus confessed his sins to Jesus and asked for salvation- this was a big step for any Jew during those days and also in our day today. Jesus gave Zacchaeus salvation and the peace in his heart that he so desperately craved. His sins were forgiven by God. Zacchaeus' repentant heart showed itself through his actions- he forgave others and made restitution for past wrongs. Jesus said that Zacchaeus (by his faith) was now a friend of Jesus- just like Abraham (by his faith) was a friend of God. What a wonderful biblical story of forgiveness. This is what it is all about.
When we study theology we learn about the Moral Attributes of God. Under this classification is the Goodness of God. Under this classification are His attributes of love, benevolence, mercy, grace, and truth. You notice that forgiveness and justice are NOT listed there. Why? Because forgiveness and justice are acts of the will and are not emotions. They are choices. How did God create us in His image? We have a body of flesh but God is spirit so we are not created in His image in relation to our physical body. Rather, we are created in the image of God in three ways:
1) Mind, 2)Will, and 3)Emotions. So, God chooses to forgive using His will and we follow His example by also choosing to forgive using our will. Is there any more to it? Yes. We can look at verses from the Bible to glean more about it. But first, let's answer a significant question:
Who Is Supposed to Practice Forgiveness?
Can you see the devil practicing forgiveness? "Of course not," you may say. Then why expect the devil's children also to practice forgiveness. You may say, "Well, I don't." Why? Because you know the devil's children honor their father and practice revenge, instead. They equate forgiveness with weakness. So, the general rule is that forgiveness is not for unbelievers to practice. Is there an exception to the rule? Of course, for those who are wise. Many unbelievers use wisdom in following Christian principles and it works just fine for them- like it works for Christians, except without the power. But there are many unscrupulous people and pertetrators in this world who will hurt you in the blink of an eye and never give it another moments thought. They may extort money from you, molest your children, shoot at you, undermine your church, or run off with your wife or husband. And the list goes on and on. And they don't feel a bit sorry for what they did to you or to anyone else. What's my point? My point is- don't expect any of these kinds of folks to make it right with you after they have victimized you. Why? Because either they can't or because they won't. It's just not in their nature. I have a couple of web pages that deal with these issues:
They have a depraved nature.
They belong to the devil.
Testimonies of Salvation.
Forgiveness is to be practiced by born again children of God. It's to be practiced by tender hearted folks who have a sensitive conscience towards God and towards others. Why? Because you have to experience forgiveness from God in order to give it to others.
Biblical forgiveness is like a two-sided coin:
1) On one side is Conditional forgiveness, and
2) On the other side is Unconditional forgiveness.
The general rule is that you conditionally forgive a child of God who has offended you who has asked you to forgive him or her. The exception to the rule is that you unconditionally forgive perpetrators and children of Satan who will never ask you to forgive them because they would do it to you again in a heartbeat if they could. Both of these types of forgiveness are taught in the Bible. God practices both kinds of forgiveness and since we are using Him as our example, we can too.
Forgiveness is tied in with Christian living and Sanctification. Forgiveness is not carried out the same way by every single individual. Forgiveness is an individual and unique work. What do I mean by that? Just like personal convictions are unique, so in the same way, personal forgiveness is unique. God has created each individual person with a unique personality, and each person thinks differently in his or her own way. There are weak and strong Christians, there are some who lead and some who follow, there are some who are participants and some who are spectators, etc. So, just because one person does it one way doesn't mean that there aren't other ways to do it. In other words, the condition is unique to the individual.
Many Christians get confused thinking forgiveness is a one time act by them. Forgiveness is not a one time act but a life long process. This is what Jesus was telling Peter when He told Peter that he must forgive 7 times 70.
As Christians we strive to practice forgiveness every day just like Christ did. So, when He was crucified on a cross, the disciples did not think it strange for Christ to forgive those who were murdering Him. And how is that accomplished in our lives? Forgiveness springs from a heart full of faith. Forgiveness is an accomplishment of the will but also a manifestation of faith. Without faith we cannot or will not forgive. Faith will help us say this prayer: "Lord Jesus, please help me to see others through Your eyes..."
So, each of us travels along through life with our heart full of faith ever ready to forgive. And what happens? We hit bumps along the way that test our faith- and our willingness to forgive. We have perpetrators come along (a plan from the enemy?) who abuse or use us in one way or another. Or we may face warfare, a natural disaster, an accident, persecution, a rejection, a break-up, a failed relationship, a tragedy, a death, a financial reversal, etc. And the list goes on and on. And the more we practice forgiveness the easier it gets. Right? Not necessarily. Sometimes, after a major negative impact, an individual might dip into his or her deep well of human depravity with adverse results. It's then that we have to decide if we want to be like Christ or not by how we act. There's an old saying: "When the world squeezes you like a sponge, make sure Jesus comes out." Sometimes, forgiveness isn't so easy, is it! When this happens we remember the A, B, C's of our discipleship training- when life gets hard and we can't live it in our own strength, we ask Jesus to live it through us. We don't feel like forgiving that so and so. That's why forgiveness is not an emotion. It's a choice. We have to will to forgive an offender. In this instance, we ask God to forgive the person through us.
Corrie ten Boom, author of her biography, The Hiding Place, gave this testimony:
"It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, a former S.S. man who had stood guard at the shower room door in the processing center at Ravensbruck. He was the first of our actual jailers that I had seen since that time. And suddenly it was all there� the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie�s pain-blanched face.
He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. "How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein." He said. "To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!"
His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.
Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.
I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I prayed, I cannot forgive him. Give me Your forgiveness.
As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.
And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world�s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself."

Forgiveness Is Identification With Christ:
As we study the Bible we learn about the believer's identity with Christ. We identify with Him in His life and in His death. One way we identify with Him is in forgiveness. We use Him as our example.
Forgiveness is not a natural concept- it is tied in with faith. It can only come from a true believer who has crucified his or her flesh. In theology this is called the mortification of the self life. This is done by each believer with the help of God the Holy Spirit through God's Word, the Bible. So my point is that God will help any true believer to forgive if he or she asks God to help them. F.J. Huegel had this to say about the believer's complete identification with Christ:
"What I wish to emphasize is the fact that for Paul, identification with Christ is something so real that he sees in the cross not only the death of the Savior, but also the potential death of all those who constitute His body; something so complete that he (Paul) sees in his own sufferings as a Christian, and in the sufferings of all Christians, filling up that which is behind the afflictions of Christ.
But we must not think of this death to which Paul says we are always delivered for Jesus' sake
(2 Corinthians 4:11) as something purely negative. Out of it Paul asserts springs life- eternal life. "Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body...So then death worketh in us but life in you"
(2 Corinthians 4:10,12). It is when we die in Christ to the "old life" that the barriers are all removed and the living streams break forth from our innermost beings bearing life- the life of God- to others.
Before we leave this phase of our participation let us briefly summarize its implications, as Paul saw them:
First, in Christ we are dead to sin
(Romans 6:11). Sin is not overcome simply by struggling against it. If it was only something which always met us from without, that might not be so difficult. But our very being is soaked with it. A drop of ink in a glass of water will taint the entire glass. Self is such an insidious thing. Our very thinking is poisoned with the leprosy of self-love. Our spirit is so twisted, torn, because of self, out of its right center, God, and rooted in the flesh; the old life is so foul in the sight of God that no patchwork, no mere polishing up, no amount of varnish will do. Jesus says we must be born again. In Christ we are taken into the tomb to be undone.
Christ cannot be to us the life of God without being to us the death of self. "I came not to bring peace but a sword." Now the knife must cut if we would be free. There is no other way out of selfhood.
Second, in Christ we are dead to the world. That does not mean, of course, that some medieval cloister, or a desert retreat, or the cell of a monastery, or some Saint Stylites pillar would be more conductive to Christian living. No man ever stood nearer the heart of this world's affairs than Christ: whether in the market-place, in the temple, in the home, with the poor, the maimed, the halt, or with those who rejoiced at a bridal feast, He was ever in the stream of life where the current was swiftest and deepest. No indeed, He was not an ascetic. Yet He could say, "I am not of the world." "They are not of the world even as I am not of the world."
The world has taken on plenty of gloss since Christ's day, but the friendship of the world is still enmity with God; for the simple reason that the spirit of the world with its shams and its lies, its greed, and its lust, springs from the monster self. Satan, working through man's pride, is still the god of this world. Be on intimate terms with this world which crucified Christ? It is unthinkable. The spirit that crucified Christ is still rampant in the world. Nothing more logical, nothing more inevitable, nothing more practicable than that the Christian should be cut off from the world. Until this world changes its attitude toward Christ, enthroning Him in its very institutions and life, we, as disciples of Christ, find ourselves compelled to stand out against selfishness and greed. We are dead to the world in Christ
(Galatians 6:14).
In the third place, in Christ we die to the party-spirit. Paul, speaking in his Ephesian letter of the middle wall between Jews and Gentiles, says that Christ broke down this wall by His cross, making of "twain one new man." Oh! that the church might catch this vision; that she might see herself crucified with Christ. How the walls would break down. The wall for example, of sectarianism. "In Christ there is neither Greek nor Jew." Any intense holding of sectarian attitudes is positively un-Christian. All division is of the "flesh." Satan raises walls between spirit and spirit, group and group, sect and sect, nation and nation- Christ breaks them down...We cannot take Christ to our bosoms without embracing humanity, for Christ identifies Himself with the interests of every living soul
(Matthew 25:31-46). We cannot have Christ if we will not have His cross.
Finally, in Christ we have died to the law: "my brethren ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ"
(Romans 7:4). Christ has lifted us not only out of the "flesh-life" and cut us off from the world by His death in which we participate, but has taken us clear out of the realm of law. We are not under the law, but under grace- it is the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus which governs us. In a sense, it is still law, "the perfect law of liberty" of which James speaks in his epistle. But we must not confound this law with the Mosaic. The one liberates, the other binds. The one gives the power to be Christ-like, the other is dead legalism. The one is an expression of the new nature, the other is an attempt to check and control the old.
How good it is to be free- free from the dominion of the "flesh-life," free from the tyranny of the world, free from the hideous monster which we call self; free from the legalism of a dead law which as Paul says worketh wrath; free from the bondage of fear and anxiety and worry. How good to have a liberated spirit surcharged with the life of God. It is the cross of Christ that thus liberates. Only as we stand with Christ in His death, and appropriate by faith the liberating force of Calvary (i.e. believe that with Christ we died) can we hope to experience the true freedom for which our spirits pant."
Quoted from F.J. Huegel, Bone of His Bone, Zondervan Publishing House, Grand Rapids, Michigan, 1973, pages 46-49.

Some Old Testament Scriptures on Forgiveness:
The word for forgiveness in the Old Testament is the Hebrew word calach which means to forgive or to pardon. Here are some old testament scriptures on forgiveness.
"Jacob now sent messengers to his brother, Esau, in Edom, the land of Seir. He told them, "Give this message to my master Esau: "Humble greetings from your servant Jacob! I have been living with Uncle Laban until recently, and now I own oxen, donkeys, sheep, goats, and many servants, both men and women. I have sent these messengers to inform you of my coming, hoping that you will be friendly to us." The messengers returned with the news that Esau was on his way to meet Jacob- with an army of four hundred men! Jacob was terrified at the news. He divided his household, along with the flocks and herds and camels, into two camps. He thought, "If Esau attacks one group, perhaps the other can escape"
(Genesis 32:3-8).
"Then, in the distance, Jacob saw Esau coming with his four hundred men. Jacob now arranged his family into a column, with his two concubines and their children at the front, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. Then Jacob went on ahead. As he approached his brother, he bowed low seven times before him. Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him affectionately and kissed him. Both of them were in tears"
(Genesis 33:1-4).

"Then one night the LORD appeared to Solomon and said,
"I have heard your prayer and have chosen this Temple as the place for making sacrifices. At times I might shut up the heavens so that no rain falls, or I might command locusts to devour your crops, or I might send plagues among you. Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land"
(2 Chronicles 7:12-14).

"O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask your aid"
(Psalm 86:5).

"The day will come, says the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the people of Israel and Judah. This covenant will not be like the one I made with their ancestors when I took them by the hand and brought them out of the land of Egypt. They broke that covenant, though I loved them as a husband loves his wife," says the LORD. "But this is the new covenant I will make with the people of Israel on that day," says the LORD. "I will put my laws in their minds, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. And they will not need to teach their neighbors, nor will they need to teach their family, saying, "You should know the LORD." For everyone, from the least to the greatest, will already know me," says the LORD. "And I will forgive their wickedness and will never again remember their sins"
(Jeremiah 31:31-34).

"During the fourth year that Jehoiakim son of Josiah was king in Judah, the LORD gave this message to Jeremiah:
"Get a scroll, and write down all my messages against Israel, Judah, and the other nations. Begin with the first message back in the days of Josiah, and write down every message you have given, right up to the present time. Perhaps the people of Judah will repent if they see in writing all the terrible things I have planned for them. Then I will be able to forgive their sins and wrongdoings"
(Jeremiah 36:1-3).

Some New Testament Scriptures on Forgiveness:

There are 3 Greek verbs for forgiveness in the New Testament:
apolyo, charizomai, and aphiemi.
Here are some New Testament scriptures on forgiveness:

Apolyo or Apoluo is the Greek verb used in this scripture meaning to "to let loose from" or "to release":
"Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. Stop criticizing others, or it will all come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven. If you give, you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full measure, pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, and running over. Whatever measure you use in giving- large or small- it will be used to measure what is given back to you"
(Luke 6:37-38).

Charizomai is the Greek verb used in this scripture meaning "to bestow a favor unconditionally":
"I am not overstating it when I say that the man who caused all the trouble hurt your entire church more than he hurt me. He was punished enough when most of you were united in your judgment against him. Now it is time to forgive him and comfort him. Otherwise he may become so discouraged that he won't be able to recover. Now show him that you still love him"
(2 Corinthians 2:5-8).

Aphesis is a Greek noun meaning "a dismissal or a release" and is used in this scripture:
"...but anyone who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit will never be forgiven. It is an eternal sin"
(Mark 3:29).
This noun is also used in Ephesians 1:7 and in Colossians 1:14.

The rest of these scriptures use the Greek verb aphiemi meaning to "to send forth or to send away":
"Give us our food for today, and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us. And don't let us yield to temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins"
(Matthew 6:11-15).

"Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?"
The Lord often used a parable to illustrate a spiritual truth. Here the Lord uses a money debt to illustrate a forgiveness truth. In other words, that debt could be forgiveness.
"No!" Jesus replied, "seventy times seven!"
"For this reason, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn't pay, so the king ordered that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt. But the man fell down before the king and begged him, "Oh, sir, be patient with me, and I will pay it all." Then the king was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. "Be patient and I will pay it," he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn't wait. He had the man arrested and jailed until the debt could be paid in full.
When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him what had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, "You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?" Then the angry king sent the man to prison until he had paid every penny. That's what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters in your heart"
(Matthew 18:21-35).

"Then Jesus said to the disciples, "Have faith in God. I assure you that you can say to this mountain, "May God lift you up and throw you into the sea," and your command will be obeyed. All that's required is that you really believe and do not doubt in your heart. Listen to me! You can pray for anything, and if you believe, you will have it. But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too"
(Mark 11:22-26).

"Give us our food day by day. And forgive us our sins- just as we forgive those who have sinned against us. And don't let us yield to temptation"
(Luke 11:3-4).

"I am warning you! If another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him"
(Luke 17:3-4).

"Two others, both criminals, were led out to be executed with him. Finally, they came to a place called The Skull. All three were crucified there- Jesus on the center cross, and the two criminals on either side. Jesus said,
"Father, forgive these people, because they don't know what they are doing"
(Luke 23:32-34).

"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"
(1 John 1:9).

"If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light.
Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fear"
-Glenn Clark

Forgiving God You have probably heard it said "Everything happens for a reason." Well, if you believe that God is behind a negative situation that happened to you, then you might be very angry at God. Maybe you think that God thinks little of you because of what happened to you. The truth is that God does order some circumstances and those are meant to protect or to bless you. You see, God is not the only one who orders circumstances. Satan also orders circumstances, so do perpetrators, and so do humans who err. Many times God takes the blame for what Satan or others have done to you. And Satan always delights to torment or tempt you all the while lying to you that God is to blame. Be that as it may, you need to forgive God for any perceived wrong that has happened in your life that you have blamed Him for. He has big shoulders, understands fully and will accept your forgiveness. Your anger towards Him will not threaten or intimidate Him, however, your unbelief will. So, for your own sake it's wise to make things right with Him as soon as possible. I have another web page that deals with:
Why do bad things happen to good people?

"The difference between holding on to a hurt or releasing it with forgiveness-
Is like the difference between laying your head down at night on a pillow filled with thorns or a pillow filled with rose petals"
-Loren Fischer

Does God Always Forgive?
As shocking as it may be to you, God does NOT always forgive. God is a Person and makes choices just like you and I do. God has free will just like you and I do. And God's angels also have free will. So, there are a lot of choices made daily in Heaven and on earth in regards to God and His entire creation. God sets the standard and we try to follow along like good sheep following their Master. Our human understanding is finite and so limited in trying to understand the infinite. We never have all the facts or all of the understanding we need, so we have to be careful NOT to judge God with our depraved minds. We are not perfect while He is. Job judged God and was reprimanded because of it. We don't want to go there for any reason.
The Unpardonable Sin:
The unpardonable sin is not accepting the forgiveness of sins given by a forgiving Creator. It is also attributing the works of God the Holy Spirit to Satan. The burden here is not on the Creator but on the individual. In other words, it is not God's fault. This is conditional forgiveness.
"He that is not with Me is against Me; and he that gathereth not with Me scattereth abroad. Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men. And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come"
(Matthew 12:30-32).
Why Satan won't be forgiven
Why wasn't Judas Iscariot forgiven? Judas rejected Jesus. Satan entered into him. Satan claimed ownership of Judas and used him to betray and kill Jesus. What Judas did was to commit the unpardonable sin. He didn't trust Christ to save him. He didn't ask Christ to forgive him. And like all unbelievers and pagans- not to accept Christ means eternal separation and damnation from God for all eternity. There is no forgiveness from God for these people. Peter also denied the Lord, but he repented and asked Christ to forgive him. God waits for His erring children to turn to Him in repentance, asking for forgiveness. And God granted Peter forgiveness and helped him thrust forth His gospel into heathen darkness.
Let's take a look at a few more men who God hand picked for His purpose(s).
Moses
Moses murdered an Egyptian. Moses was an Egyptian Army general and knew how to fight. But it didn't look good for him at criminal court and he fled to a foreign country. He asked God to forgive him and God did. Then God used him to lead 2-3 million Israelites out of Egypt in the Exodus
(Exodus Chapter 3).
King Saul
King Saul was the first king of Israel. He turned away from God and refused to ask God to forgive him, even when shown he was wrong. God rejected him and he died in battle
(1 Samuel 9:17).
King David
King David commited adultery and murdered a woman's husband. His child with the woman died. But King David did seek God and did ask for forgiveness and received it
(2 Samuel 12:10).
King Jeroboam
King Jeroboam instituted idol worship in the northern kingdom. He did not seek God or ask for forgiveness, even when shown he was wrong. As a consequence, judgment fell upon his entire household
(1 Kings Chapter 11).
Daniel
Daniel was not thrown into a lion's den. He was thrown into a den of lions. After spending the night with the lions, he came out of the pit and instantly forgave the king for throwing him in there (capital punishment). What a great example of unconditional forgiveness. And his forgiveness released the justice of God to punish the evil doers
(Daniel 6:21).
And there are many other examples of forgiveness in the Bible. And what lesson can we learn from studying these men in the scriptures? We learn that God forgives. It is God's will to forgive. Individuals must turn to God in repentance and ask Him for His forgiveness.
I think one of the greatest examples of unconditional forgiveness came from Jesus Christ on the cross:
Jesus said, "Father, forgive these people, because they don't know what they are doing"
(Luke 23:34). I think we will do well if we use Him as our forgiveness example.

Revenge is a dish
that has to be eaten cold

Taking A Look At Jonah's Attitude The book of Jonah in the Old Testament is possibly one of the least appreciated and least preached on- of the entire 39 books of the Old Testament. As a matter of fact, Josephus, the Jewish general and Christian author from 2,000 years ago, who wrote the Book of Josephus, left the Book of Jonah out of his writings altogether. I wonder how Josephus handled forgiveness since his Jewish army was crushed by the Romans and Jerusalem was destroyed by General Titus in 70 A.D.? However, the Book of Jonah contains one of the best examples of God's forgiveness. God's servant, Jonah, did not have an attitude of forgiveness and this story is placed by God in the Bible for our instruction. How many of us are like Jonah? How many of us need to be corrected by God?
I think the best way for us to study Jonah is to read some writings from some famous Bible teachers who also wrote commentaries in regards to him to see what we can learn. I underline some important facts for us to take note of. Let God speak to you through these words.
Here is what the Geneva Bible has to say:
"Jonah prayed from grief, fearing that God�s name by this forgiveness might be blasphemed, as though He sent his Prophets forth to make known His judgments in vain.
Then said the LORD, "Will you judge when I do things for My glory, and when I do not?"
(Jonah 4:4)

Here is what the Jameison Faussett Brown Commentary has to say:
God's Forgiveness for Nineveh
"Jonah 4:10-11 is the main lesson of the book. If Jonah so pities a plant which cost him no toil to rear, and which is so short lived and valueless, much more must Jehovah pity those hundreds of thousands of immortal men and women in great Nineveh whom He has made with such a display of creative power, especially when many of them repent, and seeing that, if all in it were destroyed, "more than six score thousand" of unoffending children, besides "much cattle," would be involved in the common destruction.
The ones that cannot discern between their right hand and their left are children under three or four years old
(Deuteronomy 1:39). Six score thousand of these, allowing them to be a fifth of the whole, would give a total population of six hundred thousand. Much cattle- God cares even for the brute creatures, of which man takes little account. These in wonderful powers and in utility are far above the shrub which Jonah is so concerned about. Yet Jonah is reckless as to their destruction and that of innocent children. The abruptness of the close of the book is more strikingly suggestive than if the thought had been followed out in detail.

Here is what the Matthew Henry Commentary has to say:
Jonah Chapter 4
Jonah repines at God's mercy to Nineveh, and is reproved.
Verses 1-4: "What all the saints make matter of joy and praise, Jonah makes the subject of reflection upon God; as if showing mercy were an imperfection of the Divine nature, which is the greatest glory of it. It is to his sparing, pardoning mercy, we all owe it that we are out of hell. He wishes for death: this was the language of folly, passion, and strong corruption. There appeared in Jonah remains of a proud, uncharitable spirit; and that he neither expected nor desired the welfare of the Ninevites, but had only come to declare and witness their destruction. He was not duly humbled for his own sins, and was not willing to trust the Lord with his credit and safety. In this frame of mind, he overlooked the good of which he had been an instrument, and the glory of the Divine mercy. We should often ask ourselves, Is it well to say thus, to do thus? Can I justify it? Do I well to be so soon angry, so often angry, so long angry, and to give others ill language in my anger? Do I well to be angry at the mercy of God to repenting sinners? That was Jonah's crime. Do we do well to be angry at that which is for the glory of God, and the advancement of his kingdom? Let the conversion of sinners, which is the joy of heaven, be our joy, and never our grief.
He is taught by the withering of a gourd, that he did wrong (verses 5-11).
Verses 5-11 Jonah went out of the city, yet remained near at hand, as if he expected and desired its overthrow. Those who have fretful, uneasy spirits, often make troubles for themselves, that they may still have something to complain of."

Here is what the Wesley Commentary has to say:
"Before God hath done with him, he will teach him to value his own life more, and to be more tender of the life of others. Wouldest thou have me less merciful to such a goodly city, than thou art to a weed? ...more than six-score innocents who are infants. Much cattle- Beside men, women and children who are in Nineveh, there are many other of my creatures that are not sinful, and my tender mercies are and shall be over all my works. If thou wouldest be their butcher, yet I will be their God. Go Jonah, rest thyself content and be thankful: that goodness, which spared Nineveh, hath spared thee in this thy inexcusable frowardness. I will be to repenting Nineveh what I am to thee, a God gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and I will turn from the evil which thou and they deserve."

Forgiveness� by Janet Mullaly
Forgiveness is not easy
to give to others when we're wronged,
but if we do not give it
our hurt and pain will be prolonged.
Like a wound that is infected
and gets worse as time goes by,
we can not just ignore it
no matter how hard that we try.
Sometimes there are no reasons
for the things that people do,
no excuses or explanations
that justify what they put us through.
But remember...Jesus told us to forgive
the same way our Father forgives us,
so we can move toward the love
instead of staying bitter and callused.
Forgiveness releases the negative
that has consumed and taken over,
it frees us, to love and live again
as our hardened heart grows softer.
Yes...forgiveness can be very hard
but it's something we must do,
if we want God to forgive us
then...we must forgive others too!

When Do You Have to Forgive?
When do you have to forgive? Well, that depends on the circumstances. Forgetting is the rule, and not forgetting is the exception to this rule. The Bible does NOT tell us when we have to forgive. Why? Because forgiveness is an individual choice and this may take a longer time for some rather than for others. Forgiveness is also a process that varies from individual to individual. If you find it difficult to instantly forgive some monster who has murdered your family member(s), raped, betrayed, or beaten you- it is ok. God understands. Set forgiveness aside for awhile and deal with your grief and negative feelings. Deal with your adverse circumstances. Read your Bible and believe that the devil was behind all of this to destroy you. Get some professional help if you need it. And then, sometime in the future when you think you are ready, go ahead and forgive. But if you don't forgive at that time, your healing won't progress past the point of your unforgiveness. And as long as you keep your unforgiveness bottled up inside of you, God's justice does NOT have to proceed forth from Him towards your perpetrator(s) because you have not released it to do so. God will get them anyways because the law of sowing and reaping is not conditional, however, God wants you to be healed and your forgiveness can be the beginning of this journey.
What is the Biblical rule for any issue? Where the Bible is silent the conscience must rule. To help illustrate this point on when you and I have to forgive, I want to relate a true case I ran into one time that may help us understand.
To set the background for this true story let's look at a few facts from counseling:
The Four Tell-tale Signs of Sexual Abuse in any Teenager:
1) Attempt(s) at suicide
2) Sexual promiscuity
3) Runaway
4) Drug or alcohol abuse
Also I want to add the fact that 90% of the time a wife beater is also a child molester. The police know these facts and can helpfully deal with any family member(s) at any time they are dispatched to help settle any domestic violence case.
If you see just one of the four signs above in any teenager, then you can be assured that some kind of sexual abuse has taken place in that person's life.

Unbelief is not ignorance
Unbelief is not mental confusion
Unbelief is a choice of unwillingness to act on revealed truth

We are still dealing here with the subject of when do you and I have to forgive. Knowing the above facts then- let's take a look at a family I ran into one time. There was a man- I'll call his name BJ. He had a wife named Mabel. They had 10 children. He professed Christ as his saviour but was very emotionally unstable and could not hold down long term employment. Mabel's mother and sister hated him, and BJ's own mother hated him. He and his family went to church but 20 years later BJ threw it all away and told Christ to get out of his heart. He invited Satan inside of his heart and joined a local coven, but continued to masquerade as a Christian. He sexually abused his oldest teenage daughter and took her to coven meetings where they also sexually abused her. BJ and his wife took their daughter to the doctor one day. The doctor examined her and suspected that BJ was molesting her but did not have enough proof to call the cops on him. So the doctor did the only thing he could do- he gave BJ some medication and recommended that BJ get some therapy as soon as possible. What did BJ do? As soon as he got home, he threw his medication in the trash and refused any counseling.
One day, one of his teenage sons wrapped an appliance cord around BJ's neck trying to kill him but failed in the attempt. Shortly thereafter, this boy and his brother ran away from home. While they were walking down the highway they were hit and killed by an impared driver. BJ knew he was responsible for them running away, so every year on that anniversary date he went to their cemetery and got drunk.
BJ convinced his wife of his innocense, then divorced her and married another woman. He had more children with this second woman and also sexually molested them. Later, BJ's oldest daughter remembered this abuse, told her mother, and went to a special therapist who helped her on the pathway towards recovery. BJ denied these allegations and said his daughter was a liar. This man left a trail of destruction behind him wherever he went, but he never went to jail because he moved around a lot and threatened to kill whoever told on him. But BJ stayed in church and knew all about how to manipulate others with forgiveness.
One of BJ's older sons- I'll call his name Joey- got married and had a child. Joey and his wife attended church and were genuine Christians. BJ decided to pay them a visit and while they were visiting, BJ's child by his second wife sexually molested Joey's son. This really bothered Joey and later Joey confided to me what had happened. Joey also told me that he felt like his young son was called to the ministry (when he grew up) and that he (Joey) was ordered by God to protect his son against getting molested any more. I told him he had to keep BJ from coming around his family. But, BJ lied to Joey that he was now a repentant Christian and as a consequence, Joey had to forgive him. BJ was playing the forgiveness card on Joey and making him feel guilty. As a consequence, Joey guillably invited BJ to come to live with them. It was at this point that Laura, Joey's wife, telephoned me. I told her under no circumstances to let this happen and I reminded Joey that he was to protect his child. But BJ seemed so sincere and convincing. And what was the proof of BJ's repentance? Did he confess? No, rather he stated that since he was mentally ill God would not hold him accountable for any of his offenses. He could offend all that he wanted to with complete freedom and still go to Heaven. BJ also told this lie to his ex first wife (Mabel) and she bought it and consented to let him around their other grandchildren. My bible tells me that BJ will be judged according to the amount of (gospel) light that he has. He won't get a "get out of jail free" card at God's judgment. God will hold him accountable for his choices.
I have the utmost respect for BJ's oldest daughter who faced the truth and faced her pain (in the face of her family's rejection) to get her healing. And she protected her child from BJ! And I have the utmost respect for Joey's wife for having the courage to protect her children from a very wily and coniving, child molesting grandfather.
Fortunately, Joey's wife forbid BJ from coming to live with them and protected her children from their molesting grandfather over the objections of Joey who wanted to forgive and forget- which meant letting his kids get molested contrary to God's will.
So, when do you have to forgive? The timing depends on your circumstances. In this case Joey's heart of forgiveness was tender and full of mercy, but the timing of forgiveness is crucial. Joey can forgive BJ after Joey's children are grown to protect them. I didn't think it was a good idea, that as long as BJ remained an unrepentant and active child molester, to let him around any of his grandchildren. Use wisdom and ask God in your particular set of circumstances.
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"
(2 Corinthians 6:14).

Want to read more on these specific topics? If yes, there are a couple of Pentecostal Evangel Articles you might want to explore:

Forgiving is NOT Forgetting

Christianity, Battered Wives, and Hope

"When you forgive, you in no way change the past
but you sure do change the future"
-Bernard Meltzer

Christian Counseling
If we forgive then we have to forget. Where does this idea come from? When God forgives us He casts our sins into the sea of His forgetfulness. This terminology is used in conjunction with God's Plan of Salvation for a fallen human race. It helps mankind understand God's extreme desire to forgive each lost sinner who repents and comes to Him through the shed blood of Jesus Christ. In the Old Testament salvation came about by sin that was covered by shed blood. In the New Testament salvation comes through the shed blood of Jesus Christ. Upon repentance to God with extreme sorrow for his sin, God forgives the sinner. That is a wonderful experience and makes one a son or daughter of God by adoption.
If we forgive then we have to forget is a good rule, however, there is also the exception to this rule in Christian counseling. Many religious professionals in the church have used forgetting, without it's exception, to detrimental ends. They have applied this absolute rule to many individual persons who need Christian counseling. I have heard bad opinions preached "I don't believe in counseling" or "I don't believe in psychological help- that's of the devil." As a result of this rule, many religious professionals condemn Christian counseling- and don't want to give it- or see it given to their walking wounded. They have failed to see Christian counseling as the exception to the rule. So, what's all this about? To not forget a childhood abuse or criminal trauma from a perpetrator becomes a sin in the church- with no hope of getting a cure. The church is extremely guilty of this in the arena of Christian counseling and is just now beginning to realize that forgetting should NOT always be the absolute rule. If NOT forgetting is NOT allowed, it is toxic faith and our Lord, who is our Wonderful Counselor, does not approve of this false concept in the body of Christ. A healing person must remember their abuse in order to heal from it. This has to be the exception to the rule and all in the church need to be made aware of it. The church should not shoot it's wounded. So, am I saying a child of God who comes from a dysfunctional family or one who has experienced emotional trauma need not forgive? God forbid. Rather, I am saying that such a person get their healing before granting their forgiveness.
Forgiveness is one of God�s ways for His creation to connect with Him. Any church should be committed to helping hurting people find healing. Some have wounded hearts, some wounded relationships, and others, wounded bodies. All of us have wounded souls.
"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ- to the glory and praise of God"
(Philippians 1:9-11).
How often should we forgive? Here is what the Bible says:
"Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?"
"No!" Jesus replied, "seventy times seven!"
(Matthew 18:21-22).
In essence, Jesus is saying that we must forgive an unlimited number of times.
When someone offends you it is natural to have feelings of revenge and anger. That's another good reason why forgiveness is not an emotion but a choice. You can have those feelings but you don't have to act on those feelings in revenge.
Some folks confuse biblical mercy or confuse depraved mercy with biblical forgiveness in their teachings. They are not the same and not to be confused.

Susan Forward had this to say about NOT forgetting in her book:
"I came to realize that there are two facets to forgiveness:
1) giving up the need for revenge, and
2) absolving the guilty party of responsibility.
I didn't have much trouble accepting the idea that people have to let go of the need to get even. Revenge is a very normal but negative motivation. It bogs you down in obsessive fantasies about striking back to get satisfaction; it creates a lot of frustration and unhappiness; it works against your emotional well-being. Despite how sweet revenge may feel for a moment, it keeps stirring up the emotional chaos between you and your parents, wasting precious time and energy. Letting go of your need for revenge is difficult, but it is clearly a healthy step.
But the other facet of forgiveness was not as clear-cut. I felt there was something wrong with unquestioningly absolving someone of his rightful responsibility, particularly if he had severely mistreated an innocent child. Why in the world should you "pardon" a father who terrorized and battered you, who made your childhood a living hell? How are you supposed to "overlook" the fact that you had to come home to a dark house and nurse your drunken mother almost every day? And do you really have to "forgive" a father who raped you at the age of 7?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this premature absolution was really another form of denial: "If I forgive you, we can pretend that what happened wasn't so terrible." I came to realize that this premature aspect of forgiveness was actually preventing a lot of people from getting on with their lives.
One of the most dangerous things about premature forgiveness is that it undercuts your ability to let go of your pent-up emotions. How can you acknowledge your anger against a parent whom you've already forgiven? Responsibility can go only one of two places:
1) outward, onto the people who have hurt you, or
2) inward, into yourself.
Someone's got to be responsible. So you may forgive your parents but end up hating yourself all the more in exchange.
I also noticed that many clients rushed to forgiveness to avoid much of the painful work of therapy. They believed that by forgiving they could find a shortcut to feeling better. A handful of them "forgave," left therapy, and wound up sinking even deeper into depression or anxiety.
Several of these clients clung to their fantasies: "All I have to do is forgive and I will be healed, I will have wonderful mental health, everybody is going to love everybody, we'll hug a lot, and we'll finally be happy." Clients all too often discovered that the empty promise of premature forgiveness had merely set them up for bitter disappointment. Some of them experienced a rush of well-being, but it didn't last because nothing had really changed in the way they felt or in their family interactions.
I remember an especially touching session with a client named Stephanie, whose experience illustrates some of the typical problems of premature forgiveness. Stephanie, 27, was an extremely devout born-again Christian when I met her. At age 11, Stephanie had been raped by her stepfather. He had continued to abuse her until her mother threw him out of the house (for other reasons) a year later. Over the next four years, Stephanie had been molested by several of her mother's many boyfriends. She ran away from home at 16 and became a prostitute. Seven years later, she was almost beaten to death by a client. While recovering in the hospital Stephanie met an orderly who persuaded her to visit his church. A few years later they married and had a son. She was genuinely attempting to rebuild her life. But, despite her new family and her new religion, Stephanie was miserable. She spent two years in therapy, but still she couldn't shake her intense depression. That's when she came to me.
I put Stephanie in one of my incest-victims' groups. In her first session, Stephanie assured us that she had made her peace and had forgiven both her stepfather and her cold, inadequate mother. I told her that if she wanted to get rid of her depression she might have to "unforgive" for a while, to get in touch with her anger. She insisted that she believed deeply in forgiveness, that she didn't need to get angry to get better. A fairly intense struggle developed between us, partly because I was asking her to do something painful, but also because her religious beliefs contradicted her psychological needs.
Stephanie did her work dutifully, but she refused to tap in to her rage. Little by little, however, she began to have outbursts of anger on behalf of other people. For example, one night she embraced another group member, saying, "Your father was a monster, I hate him!"
A few weeks later, her own repressed rage finally came out. She screamed, cursed, and accused her parents of destroying her childhood and crippling her adult years. Afterward, I hugged her as she sobbed. I could feel her body relax. When she was calmer, I teasingly asked, "What kind of way is that for a nice Christian girl to behave?" I will never forget her reply:
"I guess God wants me to get better more than He wants me to forgive." That night was the turning point for her.
People can forgive toxic parents, but they should do it at the conclusion- not at the beginning- of their emotional housecleaning. People need to get angry about what happened to them. They need to grieve over the fact that they never had the parental love they yearned for. They need to stop diminishing or discounting the damage that was done to them. Too often, "forgive and forget" means "pretend it didn't happen."
I also believe that forgiveness is appropriate only when parents do something to earn it. Toxic parents, especially the more abusive ones, need to acknowledge what happened, take responsibility, and show a willingness to make amends. If you unilaterally absolve parents who continue to treat you badly, who deny much of your reality and feelings, and who continue to project blame onto you, you may seriously impede the emotional work you need to do. If one or both parents are dead, you can still heal the damage, by forgiving yourself and releasing much of the hold that they had over your emotional well-being."
Paraphrased from Susan Forward's book, Toxic Parents, Bantam Books, N.Y.,N.Y., 1990, pages 186-189.
Marcia Ford had this to say about forgiveness:
"The bottom line is this:
Forgiveness begets forgiveness. God forgives us. We forgive others. They forgive us. And don�t forget this one: We forgive ourselves. The process of getting from God�s forgiveness, through giving and seeking forgiveness, to forgiving ourselves may take a longer time and more steps than we want to think about. Living in an attitude of ongoing forgiveness in the midst of conflict may be difficult to achieve. And deciding ahead of time to forgive our adversaries, no matter how a conflict is resolved, may seem downright impossible in the heat of that conflict. But each step of forgiveness along the way leads to a life of wholeness� and that ever-elusive life of love and unity with our brothers and sisters in Christ."
Quoted from
http://www.explorefaith.org/life_issues/why_forgive/cultivating_a_lifestyle_of_forgiveness.php

In the Biblical story of the prodigal son, the 2 branches of the cross are seen. The prodigal son (symbolic of you and me) is forgiven by his father (symbolic of God the Father). This shows the verticle branch of the cross. Then one brother forgives the other brother (symbolic of Christian brotherhood). This shows the horizontal branch of the cross.

Will You Go to Hell if You Don't Forgive?
Remember, that forgiveness for a true Christian is an act of the will associated with the doctrine of sanctification and NOT with the doctrine of salvation. So then what do these words of Christ mean?
"But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses"
(Matthew 6:15).
Christ is teaching us about God's forgiveness in His Sermon on the Mount. How? By learning how to forgive each other we learn how God forgives us. If we want God's forgiveness then we must forgive each other also. To be His followers, we have to learn how to forgive each other. If one does not accept God's forgiveness he or she won't be inclined to forgive others. On the other hand, you cannot purchase your salvation by forgiving others, just like you cannot purchase your salvation by performing acts of charity or any other good works.
"So you see, it isn't enough just to have faith. Faith that doesn't show itself by good deeds is no faith at all- it is dead and useless. Now someone may argue, "Some people have faith; others have good deeds." I say, "I can't see your faith if you don't have good deeds, but I will show you my faith through my good deeds"
(James 2:17-18).
Christ is teaching us how to be Christ-like. And this is good teaching for you and me to follow. Here is what John Gills had to say in his exposition:
"Your heavenly Father will also forgive you; will hear your prayers, and manifest His forgiving love to you:
not that the forgiveness of others is the procuring cause of forgiveness with God, which is the blood of Christ;
or of the manifestation and application of it, that is, the advocacy of Christ;
nor the moving cause of it, that is, the free grace of God:
but this enters into the character, and is descriptive of the persons, to whom God is pleased to make a comfortable discovery, and give a delightful sense of His pardoning grace; such persons, so disposed and assisted by His grace, may expect it of Him.
But if you forgive not men their trespasses� On the other hand, where men are not of a forgiving temper to their fellow creatures and fellow Christians, how can they expect forgiveness at the hands of God? or what sense of pardoning grace can there be upon their minds? Had they any right apprehensions of the grace and goodness of God, in the forgiveness of their sins, this would influence their minds, and engage their hearts to forgive such who have offended them: wherefore, where this is wanting, it may be concluded of, and said to such persons, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
It is a plain case, that your Father has not given you a true sense of the pardon of your sins, nor can you be certain that he will; nor have you any reason to expect it, when you are so cruel and revengeful to others. There is a considerable emphasis lies upon the word "men", to which "heavenly Father" is opposed, and the sense, according to it, is, that if men, who are upon an equal foot with each other, should not forgive one another, how should it be expected that our Father which is in heaven, who is so much above, and no ways obliged to us, should forgive us?"

I'm sorry!
I didn't know that girl I kissed was your girl friend.
will you forgive me?

Here is what James Coffman says in his New Testament Commentary:
"It appears that forgiveness actually has two centers, human and divine. Christ forgave the ones who crucified him, saying, "Father, forgive them"; but it is clear that this forgiveness was extended on the human level only and did not mean that the murderers of our Lord were pardoned immediately in heaven. Some of them, at least, repented and were forgiven when they obeyed the gospel on Pentecost. THAT forgiveness was from above, in Heaven
(Acts 2:36). The same two levels, human and divine, are observable in the case of Saul of Tarsus
(Acts 7:58-60). Stephen forgave him (on the human level) as the deed was done; but Saul was forgiven in Heaven when he had obeyed "from the heart that form of doctrine"
(Romans 6:17). It is the Christian's duty to forgive all men without regard to their repentance. If he should think to forgive only those who repent and ask it, his forgiveness duties would be practically eliminated altogether!"

Our Forgiveness and God's Justice As already mentioned, forgiveness springs from a heart full of faith. Forgiveness is an accomplishment of the will but also a manifestation of faith. Without faith we cannot or will not forgive. Faith touches the heart strings of God. In Christ, you are a son or a daughter of God by adoption.
You are special. He watches over you and protects you. He knows you so intimately that He knows the number of the hairs on your head and when someone mistreats you He takes notice. He also takes notice of what kind of action or reaction that you and I give to persons who mistreat us.
The spiritual law of sowing and reaping is in effect here for a Christian or non-Christian alike and this law can't be broken. In other words, you will reap what you have sowed, period. Knowing this, if we take vengeance into our own hands then we reap the results of that vengeance we have sowed. If we escalate a violent situation, it could get worse. This is how wars start (with Satan behind every one of them). That makes us just as bad as the person(s) who offended us.
However, if we forgive the offending person(s) by faith, then we are asking God to intervene on our behalf. We are asking Him to send forth His punishment on the offender(s). Not striking back is the principle of Christ's teaching on turning the other cheek. Why would He do that for us? Because He is a protecting Father and by faith, as His child, you have asked Him to dish out His justice on the offender(s). Will He do that? Yes. Why? Because He has promised in His word, "Vengeance is mine saith the Lord, I will repay." And if you are innocent in this regard from not having provoked the situation and have not struck back in any way, you can call down
an imprecatory prayer of punishment against those who have offended you. In faith, you are asking God to mete out His justice and consequent punishment on your offender(s) for you. And God will exact vengeance in response to His law of sowing and reaping. God always looks out for His own. So, in faith, if you want to get even with someone then forgive them. How can this possibly work? Because the Kingdom of this world is backwards to the Kingdom of Heaven. If you use the keys of His kingdom you will get results much better than if you try to do it yourself in this kingdom of the earth. Try it and you will see that it works.

"Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself"
-Suzanne Somers

Is Rejection Showing Unforgiveness?
An old prospector once said, "rejection and fellowship are two different animals." Another old timer once said, "sinners are forgiven, traitors are shot." Let me ask you a question:
Can you forgive a person and yet not want to have fellowship with that person? Let me ask you another question:
Can you NOT forgive a person and yet still have fellowship with that person?
How come God will never forgive Satan and yet they talk to one another? Is this opening up a theological can of worms? Well, maybe this is not as difficult a situation as it may appear.
We are dealing with free will here. As far as Satan is concerned, he does NOT want God's forgiveness or fellowship. He only wants God's destruction and the destruction of all those beings on God's side. He is like a mad dog, but figuratively, God has him on a chain to keep him from unleashing his destruction on all of God's creation.
And you and I have free will also. We can choose to have fellowship with those we have forgiven or reject them. And if we have offended someone, they can choose to have fellowship with us or reject us.
Our general rule of conduct is that if we see others through the eyes of Jesus, this makes a difference. It makes a difference in us and in makes a difference in them. If we crucify our flesh and let Jesus love others through us, this can be a life changing moment for any offender. We can't win others to Christ unless we love them, and we can't love them until we forgive them. This is the general love rule of the Christian walk.
The exception to this rule is to reject any unbeliever who you are tempted to harm. You may have forgiven them but you are still angry at them. It's better for you to stay away from someone than to get near and hurt them. In this exception to the rule if you personally reject someone it does not mean that you have not forgiven them. It only means that you don't want any more of their fellowship- especially if they are dangerous, evil, and/or a master manipulator. You have to ask yourself the question:
"Do I want this person in my life any more?" You may not trust that person any more. If that person has violated your trust then avoid fellowship with him or her. If you don't want that person in your life again- then don't encourage fellowship.
In this universe twisted by sin, rejection seems better than warfare. If unkindness seems to be the rule, rather than the exception to the rule, then some individuals may need to seek counseling and conflict resolution because some problems are not easily solved.
"For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil"
(1 Peter 3:12).
But what about those in the church? Well, once again we are dealing with the bible doctrine of sanctification and personal convictions. What one Christian can do, the other can not. It may be perfectly ok for one Christian to reject another individual who they have forgiven, but it may be against your convictions to do so. Some Christians can kill another with kindness and some can't. Some can show unconditional love and some can't. Some can give encouragement and some can't.
(1 Corinthians 8:9). What does the Bible say?
"If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men"
(Romans 12:18).
In summing up what we have read here, is your rejection of someone the same as your unforgiveness of them? The answer is: not necessarily- especially when it comes to a violated trust. You can forgive someone and still reject trusting them- what you are actually doing is rejecting further fellowship with that individual. But that does not mean that you should use rejection as a weapon, either. You pick and choose the people you want in your life- don't let them pick you. You make choices with your free will. Stay away from any person who you are inclined to hurt. Limit your contact with that person as much as possible.
Let's take a look at some scriptures written under the inspiration of God to help us in our daily Christian walk. Our daily Christian walk involves choices we make regarding the forgiveness, rejection, and fellowship of others. Pray about any situation you may face. Place your burden on God's altar. Try to get God's will for your life in this matter. Try to love others like Christ did.
"...We ask God to give you a complete understanding of what He wants to do in your lives, and we ask Him to make you wise with spiritual wisdom. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and you will continually do good, kind things for others. All the while, you will learn to know God better and better"
(Colossians 1:9-10).

"Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything. If you need wisdom- if you want to know what God wants you to do- ask Him, and He will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking. But when you ask Him, be sure that you really expect Him to answer, for a doubtful mind is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind"
(James 1:2-6).

"As we know Jesus better, His divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life. He has called us to receive His own glory and goodness! And by that same mighty power, He has given us all of His rich and wonderful promises. He has promised that you will escape the decadence all around you caused by evil desires and that you will share in his divine nature. So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better. Knowing God leads to self-control. Self-control leads to patient endurance, and patient endurance leads to godliness. Godliness leads to love for other Christians, and finally you will grow to have genuine love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more you will become productive and useful in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But those who fail to develop these virtues are blind or, at least, very shortsighted. They have already forgotten that God has cleansed them from their old life of sin"
(2 Peter 1:3-9).

"Since God chose you to be the holy people whom He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others"
(Colossians 3:12-13).

"Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ's body. We are all parts of his one body, and each of us has different work to do. And since we are all one body in Christ, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others"
(Romans 12:4-5).

"Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord's work. They work hard among you and warn you against all that is wrong. Think highly of them and give them your wholehearted love because of their work. And remember to live peaceably with each other. Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. Encourage those who are timid. Take tender care of those who are weak. Be patient with everyone. See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to everyone else"
(1 Thessalonians 5:12-15).

"You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God's likeness- righteous, holy, and true. So put away all falsehood and "tell your neighbor the truth" because we belong to each other. And "don't sin by letting anger gain control over you." Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil. If you are a thief, stop stealing. Begin using your hands for honest work, and then give generously to others in need. Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, He is the One who has identified you as His own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you"
(Ephesians 4:24-32).

If you have a problem with another person in the church that you can't seem to settle then you have to call for the elders of the church to settle any dispute
(1 Corinthians Chapter 6).

When the devil reminds you of your past
Remind him of his future

Forgiving Yourself
Some of us have done things when we were young and foolish and/or unsaved that we are not very proud of. We have burning memories of the past. We burned our bridges and swore never to retreat or look back but it is not always that easy. Some of have done things during a war we don't think God can ever forgive us for. Whatever you once did or helped someone else do- as a result, you might have deep feelings of unforgiveness for yourself. And once you come to Christ, the devil will delight in tormenting you with your past actions. That's his job, and, unfortunately, he is very good at it. Does Christ condemn us now for our past transgressions? No, He has cast our sins into the sea of His forgetfulness so He does not hold them against us now. So, how do we get a healing from our past? We have to place our past on an altar of the present. We turn it all over to God and leave it with Him. Then we have to forgive ourself.
You may have been abused as a child and the perpetrator(s) lied to you telling you that you were to blame for the abuse. Satan was the ultime one behind this abuse and since he is a liar, then you can expect nothing less from the one(s) who he used to abuse you. As a result you have a lot of false guilt to deal with. In order to transfer this shame from you back onto the perpetrator(s) you have to tell just one other person. You can tell your therapist, confide in a self-help group, or tell your mate (only if that mate can be supportive to you). After you transfer the shame off of yourself you have to forgive yourself and get over it. Put your past behind you and march forward once again. Sometimes this is a process that can only take place over a period of years, but if you continue trusting God, He will comfort you along the pathway of this difficult emotional journey. Seek counseling rather than emotionally beating yourself up or harming yourself in any way.
Have you been sexually abused by a minister or a priest? If so, you are not an isolated case- this has happened to others. How could this have happened? I want to remind you that not every pastor or priest is saved. That means that he belongs to Satan rather than to God. Closet Satanists have infiltrated the ranks of Christianity for decades and decades. Their purpose is to destroy one's trust in God. Did your father or grandfather, who was a Christian minister, sexually molest you? If so, you are not an isolated case- this has happened to others. How could this have happened? Somewhere along the line they backslid and followed the will of Satan while preaching God's word. This can really screw up any individual who this has happened to, but there is healing for you. If you now trust Christ enough to follow Him, He will help you untangle the betrayal and disobedience of the one(s) who abused you. He will help you shift your shame and false guilt from you back on to your perpetrator(s). Then you will know you were molested in the name of Satan rather than in the name of Christ. It is a long process with self-forgiveness, self-love, and self-acceptance as a major goal. There are other issues about self-forgiveness that I don't mention here.

Forgiveness helps me to break free

Forgiving History
If you live in the United States maybe you are descended from black African slaves brought to this country to work in agriculture some 150-200 years ago. You have looked into your family's past and see there a lot of suffering and abuse. It's only natural for you to have resentment now for what was done to your family members then. Nevermind that the Lord allowed this to happen to bring the Gospel to millions of those descendants- you have to forgive history. Just drop it and let it go.
Or maybe you are descended from native American indians who were forced on a long march known as the Trail of Tears. Nevermind that the U.S. Army reaped what it sowed in the Bataan Death March some years later- you have to forgive history. Just drop it and let it go.
Or maybe you are descended from Irish settlers who starved to death while the British sat idly by and let it happen without helping them. Now, you are a member of the IRA and want to settle this old score- you have to forgive history. Just drop it and let it go.
Or maybe you had some past relative who fought in some past war and you still hate the same folks that he or she hated. The only problem with that reasoning is that the folks who he or she hated are not alive anymore and the times have changed- you have to forgive history. Just drop it and let it go.
And I can go on and on but I think you get my point. Sometimes you and I have to make a wilful choice to forgive history. We can't change a thing in the past by our actions now except that we can learn certain lessons from the past and vow never to repeat them. A good example of this might be the Jewish holocaust of World War 2.

If you always do what you always did
You will always get what you always got

Get Rid of Your Excess Baggage
As you go to church don't go through the door with your excess baggage. What kind of baggage? Unforgiveness, grudges, dislike, hatred, gossip, etc. Leave it at the door- don't take it in. No one needs unforgiveness and everything associated with it in the sanctuary of the Lord. The Lord and your preacher like a congregation in harmony with them. And they like a congregation in harmony with itself. There are too many problems that come about when folks don't take this advice. And don't pick it back up again as you exit the church. Just drop it and let it go.
If you are determined, anyways, to take your excess baggage into God's sanctuary then lay it on the altar and leave it there- and don't ever pick it up again. Turn it all over to God completely. Just drop it and let it go.
One time me and my wife went to church as part of the congregation. The pastor preached on forgiveness. Then he had the ushers bring in a large wooden cross that stood up by itself. They placed it at the altar. He also had the ushers bring in many metal hand-held "wood staplers." Wood staplers use a heavy duty wire staple and are used for stapling paper onto wood. He also had the ushers pass out slips of blank paper to each person in the audience. Then he challenged each person in the congregation to write on their slip of paper the first name of a person who they were forgiving. Then he had all of us come forward at once, forming several lines, and staple our slip of paper onto the cross. By doing this we were using our will to exercise our forgiveness with Christ's help for the person whose name we had written down. It was a big church and at the close of service there were hundreds of slips of paper on that cross. We were under instructions only to use initials for anyone associated with the church. As we left the church our forgiveness was left at the altar on the cross of Christ. We had carried our baggage in- but not out. So, I challenge you to get rid of your excess baggage. Don't take it to church with you unless you plan on leaving it at the altar on the cross of Christ.

A modern day repentant Prodigal Son returns to his father and is greeted with forgiveness
Some Opinions of Others About Forgiveness
"The real challenge with forgiveness is the idea that forgiveness makes everything new again. When an individual has been hurt by someone else, even when forgiveness takes place, damage has been done. Sometimes, deep wounds leave scars and healing must take place. Even with healing, marks may still be present. As a human, forgiving in not simply forgetting. This is a key element to self preservation. If someone is making an effort to destroy you and in a mistaken understanding of forgiveness you return to a dangerous situation, they may eventually be successful. Forgiveness releases a burden from you but does not remove the responsibility of the offending party to confess and repent of their actions. When God forgives, He chooses to forget but He also requires confession and repentance. Without those elements, fellowship is hindered. Likewise, fellowship with an offending party will be hindered without these crucial steps of restoration."
This opinion quoted from the web. Web address is
http://www.christianity.com/11566463

"Be all you can be in Christian living-
An American Indian tells about a brave who found an eagle�s egg and put it into the nest of a prairie chicken. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life, the changeling eaglet, thinking he was a prairie chicken, did what the prairie chickens did. He scratched in the dirt for seeds and insects to eat. He clucked and cackled. And he flew in a brief thrashing of wings and flurry of feathers no more than a few feet off the ground. After all, that�s how prairie chickens were supposed to fly. Years passed. And the changeling eaglet grew very old. One day, he saw a magnificent bird far above him in the cloudless sky. Hanging with graceful majesty on the powerful wind currents, it soared with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings. �What a beautiful bird!� said the changeling eaglet to his neighbor. �What is it?� �That�s an eagle- the chief of the birds,� the neighbor clucked. �But don�t give it a second thought. You could never be like him.� So the changeling eaglet never gave it another thought. And it died thinking it was a prairie chicken. Let's get rid of any attitude of unforgiveness. We need to get off of the ground like the prairie chicken and soar with the eagles on high. God has more for us and wants us to receive all that He has for us. By forgiving others we find liberty in Christian Living."

"God also wants us to change our kind of thinking-
The true story is told of the master magician and locksmith, Harry Houdini, who, on one of his European tours, was put to the escape test. After he had been searched and manacled in a Scottish town jail, the old jailer shut him in a cell and walked away. Houdini quickly freed himself from his shackles and then tackled the cell lock. But despite all his efforts, the lock wouldn�t open. Finally, ever more desperate but completely exhausted, he leaned against the door- and it swung open so unexpectedly that he nearly fell headlong into the corridor. The jailer had not locked it. Houdini was imprisoned only by his own way of thinking. And so it is with us if we refuse to forgive. We don't want to be imprisoned in our own mind- held there by our own poisoned thoughts and a bitter attitude. We want to be set free and live a life in Christ to the richest and fullest that it can be."

"God's forgiveness of our sins is similar to our forgiveness of others. Here is a scripture worthy of our consideration:
"You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea"
(Micah 7:19).
So in other words, He has cast our sins into the deepest waters and then put up a "No Fishing" sign. How wonderful the Lord is when He forgives you- He forgets and never brings up your sins again."

Forgiveness is a journey just like salvation is a journey.
In regards to salvation:
We were saved, we are being saved, and, we will be saved...
So it is with forgiveness:
We have forgiven, we forgive, and, we will forgive...

"Forgiveness is a powerful expression of true love.
Forgiveness is very much like an apology, they are two sides of the same coin. You give them because you feel them, because they are so right and valid and necessary. Forgiveness is a power that dissembles resentment and rekindles trust. Forgiveness is an expression of love that is humbling to the recipient in a way that forces them to recognize their own true feelings, independent of the emotional energy that fueled the breakup.
Just as important is the empowerment that comes from forgiving yourself. Your only shot at winning back your relationship is to approach it from a position of humble strength, not one of self-loathing and shame. And the best way to get strong again is to let go of your shame and resentment. This is done by forgiving yourself for whatever it is you�ve done, or for what you feel in this moment of pain in your life."

"When we show others the forgiveness He has shown us, we are displaying our faith in Him. Unwillingness to forgive, bitterness and resentment are all barriers to true faith. They keep us from enjoying all that God has for us. We can best display our faith in God by forgiving those who have hurt us, just as He has forgiven us."
This opinion quoted from the web. Web address is
http://www.essortment.com/all/psalmsstudy_repw.htm

Mike Ruffin had this to say:
"C.S. Lewis put it this way: "We find that the work of forgiveness has to be done over and over again. We, forgive, we mortify our resentment; a week later some chain of thought carries us back to the original offense and we discover the old resentment blazing away if nothing had been done about it at all. We need to forgive our brother seventy times seven not only for 490 offenses but for one offense."
Forgiveness is not only a struggle, but it�s a very important struggle. If we truly want to live in communion with God, then we have to learn to forgive as He forgave. The real lesson to be learned is that the struggle to forgive is the struggle to be like Jesus."

Forgiveness in regards to the Lord�s Prayer
"We can trust God to give us His grace unconditionally. Therefore, the forgiveness we commit to extending to others is an acknowledgment of what we must do to make His grace effective.
...it is an impossible task if Christian forgiveness is equated to mercy, as it commonly is. This is not because we are incapable of mercy. We can be merciful, but not always. Because of our fallen nature, we will often be too petty to be so. However, even if we overcome our pettiness, mercy can offend our sense of justice. And it should- when mercy is inappropriate.
How is that so? When I am merciful I excuse the one who has wronged me from the consequences of his trespass. In other words, I release him of my temporal claims upon him. Mercy is appropriate if I have truly forgiven the wrongdoer, he is remorseful, and holding him to restitution for his wrongdoing would only impede his redemption. In the absence of any of these conditions, mercy would not only be inappropriate, but unjust. The fact is, often a malefactor will right himself only by suffering the consequences of his trespass. Indeed, this is the only Christian rationale for capital punishment. For some evil-doers, nothing short of imminent prospect of execution will focus the mind upon the truth.
Precisely. When I forgive, I give up the foulness which corrupts my judgment. By cleansing myself of resentment, I approximate the perfection of God and so possess the clarity of mind to do justice to my malefactor. I do not let his trespass against me poison my soul, which if unchecked by forgiveness, can metastasize the venality of resentment into the vice of wrath.
With forgiveness I bleed from me the venom of wrath. Without it the desire for vengeance will harden my heart against hope and charity� i.e., the hope that my malefactor is redeemable and the charity to do justice by him to that end. That justice may be mercy. More likely, it will mean accepting his restitution, his temporal punishment, for the wrong he has done. It is in this way we can emulate God and forgive those who trespass against us."
This opinion quoted from the web. Web address is
http://www.vulcansmercy.com/2006/03/forgiveness.html

Some Forgiveness Quotes:
"We must forgive, as we hope to be forgiven. Those who desire to find mercy with God, must show mercy to their brethren. Christ came into the world as the great Peace-maker, not only to reconcile us to God, but one to another."
-Matthew Henry
"We win by tenderness; we conquer by forgiveness."
"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
-Mark Twain
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."
-Lewis B. Smedes
"Premature forgiveness is just another form of denial"
-Susan Forward
"They that forgive wrongs, to them sins are forgiven, but revenge is prepared for them that take revenge."
-Geneva Study Bible
William Blake, daringly, said to his wife : "For all eternity, I forgive you and you forgive me."
"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you."
-C.S. Lewis
"I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge or bitterness, they're busy out dancing."
-Buddy Hackett
"Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

"The lack of forgiveness is like a venom that we take daily, drop by drop, that finally ends up poisoning us. Many times we think that it- forgiveness- is a gift for the other person, without realizing that the only ones benefited are ourselves. Forgiveness is an expression of love. Forgiveness frees us from attachments that bitter the soul and sicken the body. It does not mean that you are in agreement with what happened, nor that you approve it. To forgive does not mean that you don't give any importance to what happened nor give the reason to somebody that hurt you. It simply means you set aside those negative thoughts that caused us pain or anger. Forgiveness is based on the acceptation of what happened. The lack of forgiveness attaches you to the persons from the resentment. It keeps you chained. The lack of forgiveness is the most destructive venom for the spirit since it neutralizes the emotional resources you have.
Forgiveness is not asked for, it is given... And the most important reason to give it out is that I free myself of a great burden. What do you prefer, to be happy or to be right?"
This opinion quoted from the web. Web address is
http://www.luisprada.com/Protected/about_forgiveness.htm

Forgiveness and Bitterness are at constant war in our thinking. We need to choose forgiveness

Conclusion
Sometimes we suffer from a perceived wrong- not an actual wrong. Sometimes we misjudge others and misunderstandings can occur. There is an old saying, "Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see." However, sometimes we are deliberately hurt. Sometimes we hurt others.
We are called to grant forgiveness to those who sin against us, but God also teaches us the importance of learning to accept the forgiveness of others.
God asks us do something that Satan won't do- ask for forgiveness.
When we sin against God- we ask for His forgiveness.
When we sin against others- we ask for their forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a choice- it's not an emotion. We have to will to forgive. Sometimes we may ask God to help us forgive or to forgive others through us.
Forgiveness has two parts to it: conditional and unconditional forgiveness. God practices both and so can we. Let's always choose to be Christ-like in this endeavor.
"God will work all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose"
(Romans 8:28).

links Encouragement For Suffering
Overcoming Discouragement
Distress and Deliverance
Don't Stone the Devil's Dogs
The Imprecatory Prayer
Psalm 30- King David was Persecuted
How To Survive a Job's Trial
Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?
How To Handle Persecution
Some Pentecostal Evangel articles about forgiveness
A tragic true story of a church offense with a good ending

BOW Index of Bible Doctrines

BOW Index of Christian Living

Bread On The Waters (BOW)
www.breadonthewaters.com

or

As of March 9, 2009