Tips On
Overcoming Loneliness
by
Kraig J. Rice

TABLE OF CONTENTS
(clicking on one of these links will move you down the page)
INTRODUCTION
THE EFFECTS OF LONELINESS:
Being Lonely or Being Alone?
Terminal Loneliness
Effects Of Loneliness Article by Rev. Charles Stanley
TIPS ON OVERCOMING LONELINESS:
What is the cause of your loneliness?
W.A.Y. Beyond...Loneliness! by Bill Keefe
SOME ARTICLES REGARDING LONELINESS:
The World Is My Classroom by Corrie Ten Boom
You Can't Depend on Others for Your Happiness by David Wilkerson
If You Are Lonely While Away From Home At College
Loneliness Article by Mark Evans
Bible Help to Overcome Loneliness!
4 Bible Scriptures on Loneliness To Help You

Introduction


Crew members standing on the flight deck of their aircraft carrier

Have you ever felt lonely? I have. I remember back to a time when I was in the U.S. Navy. My ship would go to sea, but then we would always return again to Norfolk, Virginia, where we were home ported. I served on an aircraft carrier. When coming into port to dock the ship many of the crew were ordered up to the flight deck to stand at attention in our dress uniforms. This was a big PR (public relations) event and very important to the Brass (our higher officers). Lots of photos were taken. I was always there to stand at attention on that flight deck. On the dock there were hundreds of wives, children, girl friends, relatives, and "what have you" shouting and waving to their loved ones on that ship that they would soon see. Well, I was from California- on the other side of the United States. I was single. How many people do you think were standing in that crowd waving and waiting for me personally? Yep. That's right. None. Everyone else seemed to have someone. I had no one. This happened to me many times and each time I dreaded it because I felt so lonely. I had an uncle who lived in Norfolk but we weren't that close. I had two grandmothers who lived in Texas but they were a long ways off. So I had no one. I felt very lonely. In my opinion it is one of the worst feelings a person can have.

In the Old Testament one Hebrew word for loneliness is badad meaning isolated, separated, apart, or alone. This word is used in
Genesis 2:18: "it is not good for man to be alone."
Another Hebrew word for loneliness is yahid meaning solitary, isolated, or lonely. This word is used in
Psalm 25:16: "I am lonely and afflicted."

In the New Testament the Greek word for loneliness is eremos meaning abandoned, solitary, or lonely. This word is used in
Luke 4:42: "He departed and went to a lonely place"

To address this issue of loneliness there have been several songs written. A few of them include:

Hank Williams sang I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry

Ricky Nelson sang Lonesome Town in 1958

Roy Orbison sang Only the Lonely 1n 1960

Elvis Presley sang Are You Lonesome Tonight? in 1960

Bobby Vinton sang Mr. Lonely in 1964

Glenn Yarbrough sang Lonesome in 1965. The lyrics of that song go something like this:

"...lonesome is a little boy standing in a crowd
a telephone ringing in an empty house
an autumn leaf that first falls from it's tree
a footstep without a place to go
the summer's last robin in winter's first snow
a little dog lost out in the street
an empty bottle- a half filled glass of wine
the sound the clock makes when all you have is time
a heart that breaks when love has turned to aches
the dying sun at the close of day
a jail of tears that won't set me free..."
Those lyrics pretty well describe one's feelings of loneliness, don't they? How does the Encarta Dictionary define loneliness?
"The state of feeling sad or dejected as a result of lack of companionship or being separated from others.

feeling alone: feeling sad- being without friends or company

isolated: isolated and rarely visited

without companionship or support: done or lived- without companionship or support from other people

The adjective for the word lonely reads:
forlorn, lost, lonesome, alone, friendless, without a friend in the world, abandoned, deserted, isolated, solitary, secluded, cut off, deserted."

The above info comes from the Encarta Dictionary. Web address is
http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/refpages/search.aspx?q=lonely&Submit2;=Go

or the Wikipedia Encyclopedia defines it this way:
"Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than just the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected from, and alienated towards, other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely people often experience a subjective sense of inner emptiness or hollowness, with feelings of separation or isolation from the world. The first recorded use of the word "lonely" was in William Shakespeare's Coriolanus."
The above info comes from the web. Web address is
Wikipedia Encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness
Here are a few quotes from famous people who were also lonely at one time or another:

"One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it."
- Vincent van Gogh

"The whole conviction of my life now rests upon the belief that loneliness, far from being a rare and curious phenomenon, peculiar to myself and to a few other solitary men, is the central and inevitable fact of human existence."
- Thomas Wolfe

"The body is a house of many windows: there we all sit, showing ourselves and crying on the passers-by to come and love us."
- Robert Louis Stevenson

"When Christ said: "I was hungry and you fed me," He didn't mean only the hunger for bread and for food; he also meant the hunger to be loved. Jesus himself experienced this loneliness. He came amongst his own and his own received him not, and it hurt Him then and it has kept on hurting Him. The same hunger, the same loneliness, the same having no one to be accepted by and to be loved and wanted by. Every human being in that case resembles Christ in his loneliness; and that is the hardest part, that's real hunger."
- Mother Teresa

The above info comes from the web. Web address is
http://quotes.prolix.nu/Loneliness


A Few Things That Can Cause Loneliness:

"People can experience loneliness for many reasons, and many life events are associated with it. Most people experience loneliness for the first time when they are left alone as a baby. Loneliness is a very common consequence of divorce or the breakup or loss of any important long-term relationship. In these cases, it may stem both from the loss of a specific person and from the withdrawal from social circles caused by the event or the associated sadness.

Loss of a significant person in one's life will typically initiate a grief response; here, one might feel lonely, even in the company of others. Loneliness may also occur after the birth of a child, after marriage or any socially disruptive event, such as moving from one's home town to a university campus. Loneliness can occur within marriages or similar close relationships where there is anger, resentment, or where love cannot be given or received. It may represent a dysfunction of communication. Learning to cope with changes in life patterns is essential in overcoming loneliness."

A Few Common symptoms of Loneliness:

Believing that "everyone else" has friends
Feeling embarrassed and self-conscious
Being in a crowd but not feeling part of the crowd
Feeling shy and scared of others
Experiencing low self-esteem
Feeling angry, defensive and critical
Feeling socially inadequate and socially de-skilled
Being convinced there is something wrong with you
Feeling disconnected and alienated from your surroundings
Feeling anxious and sad because you believe that no one knows
          how miserable and isolated you feel
Losing your capacity to be assertive- feeling "invisible"
Feeling reluctant to attempt to change, or try new things
Feeling "empty", depressed, or even contemplating suicide

The above info comes from the web. Web address is
Wikipedia Encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness

If you ask for God's guidance,
don't complain if it is different from
your preference.

THE EFFECTS OF LONELINESS?

What are some problems caused by loneliness? Some of these problems include feelings of worthlessness, sleeplessness, anxiety, aloneness, suicide, and questions concerning God.

The Wikipedia Encyclopedia explains the effects of loneliness this way:

"Loneliness can play a part in alcoholism, and in children a lack of social connections is directly linked to several forms of antisocial and self-destructive behavior, most notably hostile and delinquent behavior. In both children and adults, loneliness often has a negative impact on learning and memory. Its effect on sleep patterns, as well as the abobe-mentioned other effects can have a devastating effect on the ability to function in everyday life.

Some other effects may not be symptomatic for years. In 2005, results from the U.S. Framingham Heart Study demonstrated that lonely men had raised levels of IL-6, a blood chemical linked to heart disease. A 2006 study conducted by the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience at the University of Chicago found loneliness can add 30 points to a blood pressure reading for adults over the age of 50. Another remarkable finding, from a survey conducted by John Cacioppo, a psychologist at the University of Chicago, is that doctors say they provide better medical care to patients who have a strong network of family and friends than they do to patients who are alone.

Enforced loneliness (solitary confinement) has been a punishment method throughout history. It is often considered a form of torture."
The above info comes from the web. Web address is
Wikipedia Encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness


a lonely elephant

Being Lonely or Being Alone?

"There's a difference between being lonely and being alone.

Lonliness is the result of having come out of a long-term exclusive relationship and finding yourself feeling overwhelmed by a sense of alienation. No longer able to enjoy the friendship, companionship, and the intimacy of being with someone on a regular basis, you feel like a mathematical anomoly; divided by two when alone and multiplied by three when at a social function. Nothing feels right. From the first waking moment of the day to that moment when sleep takes over, being alone in a bed is not as comfortable as it would seem to be.

Aloneness is something else. There comes a time when, having passed through the in-between time of being lonely, you adjust. Some of the positive factors concerning singlehood have been realized. Life begins to pick up again. Eventually, you begin to get out again."
The above info comes from the web. Web address is
http://www.romanceopedia.com/SA-InBetweenTime.html

Distinction From Solitude:

"Loneliness should not be equated with being alone. Everyone has times when they are alone through circumstances or choice. Being alone can be experienced as positive, pleasurable, and emotionally refreshing if it is under the individual's control. Solitude is the state of being alone and secluded from other people, and often implies having made a conscious choice to be alone. Loneliness is therefore unwilling solitude.

In their growth as individuals, humans start a separation process at birth, which continues with growing independence towards adulthood. As such, feeling alone can be a healthy emotion and, indeed, choosing to be alone for a period of solitude can be enriching. To experience loneliness, however, can be to feel overwhelmed by an unbearable feeling of separateness at a profound level. This can manifest in feelings of abandonment, rejection, depression, insecurity, anxiety, hopelessness, unworthiness and meaninglessness. If these feelings are prolonged they may become debilitating and serve to prevent us from developing healthy relationships and lifestyles. If the individual is convinced he or she is unlovable, this will increase the experience of suffering and the likelihood of avoiding social contact. Low self esteem will often trigger the social disconnection which can lead to loneliness."
This info comes from the web. Web address is
Wikipedia Encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness


Terminal Loneliness

Death is not the end of your life but the beginning of it.

It's tough to face aloneness when facing death at the same time.

One time a sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side." Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know." "You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing...I know my Master is there and that is enough."

Treatment With An Animal:

"Another treatment for both loneliness and depression is pet therapy, or animal-assisted therapy, as it is more formally known. Some studies and surveys, as well as anecdotal evidence provided by volunteer and community organizations, indicate that the presence of animal companions- dogs, cats, and even rabbits or guinea pigs- can ease feelings of depression and loneliness among elderly people in nursing homes, for example. According to the Centers for Disease Control, there are a number of health benefits associated with pet ownership: In addition to easing feelings of loneliness (because of the increased opportunities for socializing with other pet owners, in addition to the companionship the animal provides), having a pet is associated with lowered blood pressure and decreased levels of cholesterol and triglycerides."
This article comes from the web. Web address is
Wikipedia Encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness

If you know someone who is extremely lonely, living alone, (and possibly terminally ill), you might consider giving him or her a sweet and caring dog. A dog gives unconditional love and helps ease the pain of loneliness. A dog gives them something to love. A dog is a faithful friend and can give hours of companionship.


What is a Dog?

1. Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.

2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.

3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.

4. They growl when they are not happy.

5. When you want to play, they want to play.

6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.

7. They are great at begging.

8. They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.

9. They leave their toys everywhere.

10. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
Written by The Cat

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself."
- Josh Billings.

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does. Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."
-Ben Williams

"We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls? When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
- Edward Abbey

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But put him in a car and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window.

How To Bathe The Cat

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).

CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Written by The Dog


Never Alone

"And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night."
(Luke 2:8).

"Night time can be the loneliest part of any twenty-four hours. For those who are chronically ill, it may be physically painful as well. And the combination can be especially tormenting. If I awake in pain, I can't always count on television to distract me or lull me back to sleep. There may not be anyone else around to keep me company, and if there is I may do my best not to wake them, too.

With pain and sleeplessness as my only companions, the night may be when I feel most alone. But feeling isn't always believing. In Jesus' day, well-tended sheep were never left alone to face wolves or thieves or attacks of pain in the night. Shepherds took turns staying awake and guarding the flock, or even nursing a small or sick lamb through the dark, lonely evening.

While earth's shepherds watched their flocks, a Heavenly Shepherd entered the world to care for His sheep. He came at night, assuring me of continued companionship even in the longest, darkest hours.

0 sympathetic Shepherd, thank You for being my companion and my friend. Today I will consider Your ever-faithful and comforting presence. Tonight I will sleep soundly in You."
Sharon Broyles, AUGUST 14, Strenth For Today, HarperSanFrancisco, New York, New York, 1993

Lonely for God

"If only I knew where to find Him; if only I could go to His dwelling!"
(Job 23:3).

"Who are You, God?" became "Where are You, God?" Job knew his Redeemer lived, but he couldn't make contact with Him. God was silent, and Job was suffering the most acute form of loneliness— separation from God. But he kept on asking and searching for a God who would make a difference in his life.

Job had been as penitent as he knew how and even managed to praise God at intervals during his suffering. Where was this Being to Whom he had given himself?

The emotional pain of loneliness is a sign, just as physical pain is, that something is missing or out of balance.

In his torment, Job didn't know some of the things I can know. I know where my Redeemer dwells: He inhabits His Word; He resides in prayer; and He occupies my heart through His Spirit. He is never far away. If illness is preventing me from finding God, I may be like someone who keeps looking for eyeglasses that are perched on her head.

My Redeemer and my God, sometimes I can't find You. Teach me how to recognize Your loving presence. Today I will concentrate on believing that You are with me in everything I do."
Sharon Broyles, SEPTEMBER 18, Strenth For Today, HarperSanFrancisco, New York, New York, 1993

Jesus Christ Experienced Terminal Loneliness

There was a time when Jesus Christ experienced terminal loneliness.

In the telling of the crucifixion story, two Gospels clearly recall some of the final words of Christ.

And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?" which means in English, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Mark 15:34 NIV (see also Matthew 27:46)

The first words of Psalm 22 are: My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
(Psalm 22:1a NIV)

For all who would listen, Jesus is identifying with every person who is suffering terminal loneliness. His Heavenly Father had to turn away from Him because Jesus, who knew no sin, became sin, because you and I placed our sins on Him on that cross through substitution. We asked Him to take our sins away. He took our sins away from us and placed them on Himself while He hung there on that cross. (He did that positionally because as God He can transpose time). He did that for you because He loves you.

Whatever is happening in our lives is no surprise to God. He has it all under control. He has experienced your hell. He loves you no matter what you are going through. Do you know that God is alive, well, and still speaking today? He still desires to have a personal relationship with you- to offer you comfort, love, guidance, forgiveness, and acceptance. But you must ask Him- ask Him to come to live inside of your heart. And when He takes you to Heaven it is just the beginning of your life and not the end of it.

Cross bearing
ends with
Crown wearing

Effects Of Loneliness Article
by Rev. Charles Stanley

"Perhaps the most common malady of soul in our sophisticated age today is loneliness. Whether married or single, rich or poor, a teenager, mid-lifer, or senior citizen, loneliness can strike and depart with the sudden intensity of a summer storm or linger like an artic winter.

We can be lonely while in the center of activity at work or home. Laughter and busyness may surround us, but they cannot pierce the darkness of our loneliness. While we sometimes need brief seasons of solitude for God to refresh and renew our weary souls, protracted times of isolation can bring numbing loneliness of the soul.

There are no easy answers for handling loneliness. There are no prefabricated steps out of the wilderness, out of the quagmire. Our loneliness can become a pathway to God. It may not be a well-marked trail (for each person must walk his own); but God will illumine the path to the man, woman, or young person willing to turn to Him in their pain.

God Knows How You Feel:

One of the most comforting truths of the Bible is that we have a Savior God who understands our emotions.

"Since then the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise also partook of the same..."
(Hebrews 2:14).

"Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest..."
(Hebrews 4:15).

"For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses..."
(Hebrews 2:17).

Because Jesus became man, He shares in the full range of our feelings. While loneliness is not sin (although it can lead to sin through attempts to gain acceptance), it is part of our frail humanity.

Isaiah 53:3 says that Jesus was "despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief..." Christ understands your loneliness for He, too, was lonely at times. Think of childhood. How could a perfect young boy (for He was sinless) be accepted by His peers? Do you think Jesus had many friends when He was a teenager? Probably not, though we know virtually nothing about His adolescent years.

His ministry that brought healing and blessing to multitudes also brought rejection and misunderstanding. Although He traveled with the disciples for several years, they seldom communicated on the same wavelength.

When He hung on the cross, He uttered these horrible words: "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?"
(Matthew 27:46) Jesus, for the first and only time in eternity, lost fellowship with the Father as He suffered the penalty for our sins. Could there ever have been or ever be any greater sense of forsakenness?

Loneliness can lead to immoral relationships. Since intimacy with another is one attempt to dispel loneliness, we can seek out immoral relationships. But all the physical contact in the world cannot fill any empty, lonely heart. It may satisfy for a brief season, but the problem remains.

Loneliness can impact our finances. Often when we are lonely, we think that purchasing certain items will give us an emotional lift. It may, but it can also put an unnecessary dent in our wallet. Abuse of credit cards can sometimes be futile attempts to break through the enclosing walls of loneliness.

Loneliness can damage our self-esteem. This is perhaps the greatest danger in dealing with loneliness. We doubt our worth to God and others. We feel so alone and hopeless. We no longer see ourselves from the perspective of the Scriptures. Loneliness distorts our self-esteem and puts us into false bondage. Lonely people want to reach out to others but feel they cannot.

Loneliness can produce physical problems and even lead to suicide. Our bodies and emotions are intertwined. Excessive sieges of loneliness can create physical problems. Worse, the despair can be so great that suicide becomes an option. The ought that nobody cares is a common thread in suicidal cases.

Coming Through Loneliness:

Loneliness does not have to be a permanent condition of the human heart. Indeed, God can use our times of loneliness to forge new intimacy with Him that will sustain us even in the most desperate moments.
Friendship With God:
The first man, Adam, was alone in the Garden of Eden; but there was no indication that he was ever lonely. Quite the opposite seemed evident. He enjoyed exquisite communion with the Father who provided him with a helpmate, Eve, because "...It is not good for the man to be alone..."
(Genesis 2:18). Loneliness of spirit began when Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden. At that point, all the misery of sin was injected into human existence, including the most painful woe, loss of intimacy with the Father.

Salvation is the reconciliation of man and God and the restoration of intimate fellowship that man was created to partake of and enjoy.

God has adopted every Christian as His child and made them members of His household. God is now our Father, and we are His sons and daughters. That is not only our position but the kind of spiritual intimacy we can have with the living God.

Once we were enemies with God. Now He calls us His friends.
Read John 15:14-17. Salvation then is a friendship with God that is never ending.

In times of excruciating loneliness, we can experience the friendship of God in more intimate terms than ever before. You have Christ in you. Wherever you live, wherever you go, you take God for He indwells you through the Holy Spirit.
(John 14:16-18).

What Kind Of Friend Is God?
The surge and staying power of loneliness can sometimes obscure just how wonderful a friend God is to His children. We easily succumb to our feelings rather than clinging to the truth of God's Word.
What kind of friend do we have in Jesus?
A friend who hears us, comforts us, cares for us, allows us to share in His triumph over sin and Satan, fills us with His hope, peace, and joy, and provides abundant grace to meet every demand.
Reaching Outside Of Ourselves:
God made us for intimacy with others as well. Although only Christ alone can meet the deepest pain of loneliness (for even the best friend can fail you), we do need contact and fellowship with other individuals for a healthy, balanced life.

Obviously, this is where the person mired in loneliness finds such great barriers. He is lonely to some extent because he has not found another person with whom he can share his burdens.

However, God knows our need for one another. That is why he designed the body of Christ to function as a unit of believers, each helping one another through the exercise of spiritual gifts. He gives us encouragement, comfort, and help through the fellowship and assistance of another person.

David had Jonathan. Moses had Joshua. Elijah had Elisha. Paul had Timothy, Barnabas, and Silas. When Jesus sent the seventy out to minister in His name, He sent them out in pairs.

How can you reach outside of yourself when you feel all alone?

Pray for a bridge of friendship with one person. Pray specifically for God to provide the right person who will encourage you and whom you also can help. Then wait on God to provide His answer.
Read Psalm 32:8.

Do those good works involve helping others?
Can you think of some activity in your church, your neighborhood, your work place where you can be a servant? Ask God to show you where He can use you to accomplish the good works He has ordained.

Under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, do something for someone else. It will help keep your mind off your troubles and perhaps be a partial span in building the bridge of friendship with another Christian.

That bridge may seem like tightrope right now, but God wants to use you to help others. In the process, He sends His encouragement to you. He will give you the courage to do what you need to do.

Delight in the friendship of God, replace depressing feelings with God's everlasting truth. Take one small step of faith to serve another, and you will be on God's pathway out of loneliness. It may take some time, but God will bring you through your pain.

The Father's Heart
Loneliness does not have to be feared or even avoided. God desires to take such seasons to bring us closer to Him, to make us truly understand that we are complete in Christ. It is a time to listen to Him, wait on Him, and rest in His sufficiency."
This article comes from the web titled How To Handle Loneliness. Web address is
http://www.intouch.org/myintouch/exploring/studies/pressures/lesson1/index_345894.html

I'm
Lonely

TIPS ON OVERCOMING LONELINESS

There are several things a person can do to overcome his or her feelings of loneliness. Here are some tips from several different persons to help you.


What is the cause of your loneliness?

"How do you cope with the feelings associated with loneliness? (hide away, drink alcohol, sleep?)

Distinguish times when you feel relaxed in your own company and when you feel unpleasantly lonely.

Determine whether your preferred style of relating is on a one-to-one basis or in a group.

Take some risks– speak to people, smile a lot, make an effort, get involved, do something new.

Seize opportunities, even if you don't feel like it!

It should be remembered that feeling lonely is a common, human emotion experienced by everyone at times (and therefore is not a defect). Intimate friendships take time to develop, and sometimes it is useful to help deal with the loneliness by sharing your experiences with someone else."
The above info comes from the web. Web address is
Wikipedia Encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness


Experts: Coping with Loneliness:

"Do you know what is the first thing to overcome lonliness??? The first thing is to be with ease and satisfied with your own self because a feeling of lonliness is not neceassarily about being alone or having nobody...it's about being unsatisfied with the people in your life. And it includes being unsatisfied with your self.

You will be able to over come your feelings only when you learn to have a good time by your self. you will enjoy others company when you enjoy your own first.

You have to be confident about who you are and about how you feel. I am sure there are a lot of people who are your friends and want to be with you as friends...but you will have to take the first step and start thinking them as your friends. It's a real bummer that your best friend lives far away from you but there are other people around. No one will take her place, of course, but you have to let them all make a place in your life.

You have to open your heart to let people in because nobody likes to knock on closed doors.

you are very special and there are so many people who want to be with you- just realize that- and life will be so good. Sit with your self and see what you have to offer...I am sure you will be surprised to see how much you can do....."
This info comes from the web. Web address is
http://experts.about.com/q/Coping-Loneliness-2235/Lonliness.htm

Come on in
And
Bring a friend

W.A.Y. Beyond...Loneliness!
by Bill Keefe

Something missing?

"Are you looking for someone or something to "complete you"? You might be single but just as well might be married. Single people aren't alone when it comes to believing that there is someone out there that is capable of satisfying their every need...One person to provide love, security, excitement and inspiration. Someone to support you physically, emotionally and financially allowing you maximize your one lifetime.

Too common are the affairs, breakups and abuse which become the sad result of the awareness that "something is missing". That "something" must be the fault of your partner either in what they don't give you or for what they fail to bring out in you. Or maybe they were simply the wrong choice as what you need surely is available through another. How could you be expected to endure a lifetime "knowing" that there is something more out there? After all, you only live once, settling isn't an option and wouldn't it be a shame to have regrets in the end?

Your emptiness or void is real and it is right for you to take action to fill it. However, for many people the changes they make only seem to compound prior mistakes. Without any understanding of what "it...is" you will inevitably look in the wrong places for answers.

Without a clear determination of what it is that you seek your decisions will be random and will produce only distractions in your life...not satisfaction. Changing partners will not necessarily bring the satisfaction you seek, but may only delay the awareness of your real solutions.

These changes become distractions that may consume your thoughts, time and energies for a while but expect that when the infatuation or newness is gone you will again be left with that same old feeling that something is missing again.

It is right for you to pursue a different course for your life but wrong to continue the failed patterns that directed you to where you currently stand. A different way is what you need but you should learn more about it first.

Steps to End Loneliness:

People suffering from the condition of loneliness don't realize that they are in total control. Most don't know what to do, or simply don't know where to find the support they feel they need to make changes. This 12 step process will show you the way. Reading isn't going to be enough. You must be committed to taking action. If you are, you can END your loneliness!

1. Make sure it isn't medical- Depression and Social Anxiety are two very common conditions that frequently go undiagnosed. If you are one of the 23 million Americans with either of the conditions, you need to know! Efforts to end loneliness may fail simply due to these medical conditions.

2. Learn to reach out- Reaching out requires you to move from a passive to an active lifestyle. Building and maintaining a dynamic support network is your responsibility.

3. Be a student of life- people think nothing of investing thousands of dollars and several years to develop skills and knowledge to advance careers, yet struggle to find the time or commit marginal resources towards improving life skills. Life skills will help to provide tools for improving communication and confidence necessary for you to take control of your life. Invest a few hours and a few dollars to read a book that could make you more positive, a better listener, and even a better friend or partner.

4. Make a plan- An action plan is a contract that you make with yourself that identifies those steps you agree to take in an effort to alleviate loneliness.

5. Do a self-inventory- what personal changes regarding lifestyle, personality, appearance, and attitude need to be made

6. Take action- Remember the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results! If something isn't working, change it!

7. influence through empathy- Learn to understand the vision and motivation of people you interact with.

8. Create a positive environment- Surround yourself with positive things, people and environments.

9. Realize it's OK to need help- For some unknown cultural reason we have not been taught and reinforced to address our emotional health in the same manner as our physical health. This is a mistake.

10. Learning to ask the right questions will change your life!- find out what other people think before you tell them what you think. Use questions to meet new people or turn acquaintances into friends or lovers. Ask open ended questions that begin with why and how instead of questions that can be answered with a "yes or no".

11. Give of yourself- Go where you are needed and wanted... volunteer.

12. The Internet is a tool not a crutch. The Internet can be used as a facilitator of communication or as a social barrier."
This info comes from the web. Web address is
http://www.stoploneliness.com/

Methods of Overcoming

"The feelings associated with loneliness feed on themselves– the more lonely you feel, the harder it is to take steps to break out of loneliness. However, feeling lonely is a phase and does not have to be a constant way of being. As with changing any patterns of behaviour, it may take effort and commitment to begin to move out of feeling lonely.

To begin to break the cycle of loneliness, it may be helpful to consider medical treatment:
To the extent that loneliness is caused by depression (instead of vice versa), it may be helped by similar treatments, such as various forms of psychotherapy, pharmacotherapy (anti-depressant medications), or both."
The above info comes from the web. Web address is
Wikipedia Encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness

Compassion
is difficult to give away
because
it keeps coming back

SOME ARTICLES REGARDING LONELINESS

Note: Many of the articles quoted below offer good advice and good tips on how to deal with loneliness. If we are lonely let's quit feeling sorry for ourself and be about fulfilling our destiny: sharing the gospel with others as commanded by Jesus Christ in His Great Commission to each of us. We have been pampering ourself for far too long. Maybe we are too self absorbed. Let's pull ourself up by our boot staps. Let's get out and get going. We have a lost world to win for Christ...

Jesus says to you

The World Is My Classroom
by Corrie Ten Boom

"I will teach you, and guide you in the way you should go. I will keep you under my eye."
(Psalms 32:8) New English Bible.

"The school of life offers some difficult courses, but it is in the difficult class that one learns the most- especially when your teacher is the Lord Jesus Himself.

The hardest lessons for me were in a cell with four walls. The cell in the prison at Scheveningen, Holland, was six paces in length, two paces in breadth, with a door that could be opened only from the outside. Later there were four barbed-wire fences, charged with electricity, enclosing a concentration camp in Germany. The gates were manned by guards with loaded machine guns. It was there in Ravensbruck that more than ninety-six thousand women died.

After that time in prison, the entire world became my classroom. Since World War II, I have traveled around it twice, speaking in more than sixty countries on all continents. During these three decades I have become familiar with airports, bus stations, and passport offices. Under me have been wheels of every description: wheels of automobiles, trains, jinrikishas, horse-drawn wagons, and the landing gear of airplanes. Wheels, wheels, wheels! Even the wheels of wheelchairs.

I have enjoyed hospitality in a great number of homes and have slept in many times more than a thousand beds. Sometimes I have slept in comfortable beds with foam rubber mattresses in the United States, and sometimes on straw mats on dirt floors in India. There have been clean rooms and dirty rooms.

One bathroom in Hollywood had a view of exotic plants and flowers from the sunken Roman bathtub; while a bathroom in Borneo was simply a mud hut equipped with nothing but a barrel of cold water. Once, while staying with a group of young Jewish girls in Israel, I had to climb over a mountain of building materials, and walk through a junk-filled field to make my way to a tiny outhouse which was nothing more than a hole in the ground. Such a place would have been impossible to find at night.

Always in my travels, even now that I am in my ninth decade of life, I have carried in my hand and in my heart the Bible— the very Word of Life which is almost bursting with Good News. And there has been plenty for everyone. I often feel as the disciples must have felt as they fed more than five thousand with five loaves and two fishes. The secret was that they had received it from the blessed hand of the Master. There was abundance for all and twelve basketfuls of fragments left over.

There has been plenty for the dying ones in the concentration camps— plenty for the thousands gathered in universities, in town halls, and in churches all over the world. Sometimes I have spoken to a few men in prison who stood behind bars and listened hungrily. Once to a group of six missionaries in Japan who offered me hospitality during a twenty-eight-hour rainstorm in which more than a thousand persons perished around us. Groups of hundreds and crowds of thousands have listened under pandals in India and in theaters in South America. I have spoken to tens of thousands at one time in the giant stadiums of America and retreated to the mountains of North Carolina to spend time with a small group of girls in a summer camp.

"God so loved the world . . ." (John 3:16) Jesus said. And that is why I keep going, even into my eightieth years, because we've a story to tell to the nations, a story of love and light.

God has plans— not problems— for our lives. Before she died in the concentration camp in Ravensbruck, my sister Betsie said to me, "Corrie, your whole life has been a training for the work you are doing here in prison— and for the work you will do afterward."

The life of a Christian is an education for higher service. No athlete complains when the training is hard. He thinks of the game, or the race. As the Apostle Paul wrote:

"In my opinion, whatever we may have to go through now is less than nothing compared with the magnificent future God has planned for us. The whole creation is on tiptoe to see the wonderful sight of the sons of God coming into their own. The world of creation cannot as yet see reality, not because it chooses to be blind, but because in God's purpose it has been so limited— yet it has been given hope. And the hope is that in the end the whole of created life will be rescued from the tyranny of change and decay and have its share in that magnificent liberty which can only belong to the children of God!

It is plain to anyone with eyes to see that at the present time all created life groans in a sort of universal travail. And it is plain, too, that we who have a foretaste of the Spirit are in a state of painful tension, while we wait for that redemption of our bodies which will mean that at last we have realized our full sonship in him."
Romans 8:18-23 PHILLIPS

Looking back across the years of my life, I can see the working of a divine pattern which is the way of God with His children. When I was in a prison camp in Holland during the war, I often prayed, "Lord, never let the enemy put me in a German concentration camp." God answered no to that prayer. Yet in the German camp, with all its horror, I found many prisoners who had never heard of Jesus Christ. If God had not used my sister Betsie and me to bring them to Him, they would never have heard of Him. Many died, or were killed, but many died with the Name of Jesus on their lips. They were well worth all our suffering. Faith is like radar which sees through the fog— the reality of things at a distance that the human eye cannot see.

"My life is but a weaving, between my God and me,
I do not choose the colors. He worketh steadily,
Oftimes He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride,
Forget He sees the upper, and I the underside.

Not till the loom is silent, and shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful in the skillful Weaver's hand,
As the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned."
ANONYMOUS

Although the threads of my life have often seemed knotted, I know, by faith, that on the other side of the embroidery there is a crown. As I have walked the world— a tramp for the Lord— I have learned a few lessons in God's great classroom. Even as I share these things with those of you who read this book, I pray the Holy Spirit will reveal something of the divine pattern in God's plan for you also."

Written by Corrie Ten Boom, Baam, Holland
Corrie Ten Boom, Tramp For The Lord, Fleming H. Revell Co., New Jersey, 1974,pages 9-12.

You Can't Depend on Others for Your Happiness
by Rev. David Wilkerson

"Recently a sad young minister and his wife came to me for counseling. After four troubled years of marriage, and two children, they were contemplating divorce. She was the saddest-looking wife I have seen in years. Her husband, the young youth minister, stood nearby, shuffling his weight from foot to foot, while his teary-eyed wife sobbed out her confession to me.

"There is absolutely no hope for our marriage now," she cried. "We are in two different worlds. He is so wrapped up in his work; he has no time left for me and the children. My whole world has been wrapped up in him; but now I'm getting tired of sitting home, waiting for him. I'm not accomplishing anything on my own. I don't even know if I love him anymore."

It hurt me to see such a lovely young couple acting like strangers to each other. I recognized the cause of their problem immediately: Both were bored, restless, and unhappy with each other. Just as multitudes of other couples, they once stood before a minister, to be married; they were gazing lovingly into each other's eyes, with their hearts filled with hope and anticipation that their marriage would be happy and fulfilling. Now, just a few years later, their hopes are in ashes. They became disillusioned, and, try as they may, they can't seem to rekindle the spark of first love. It is then the ugly thoughts of divorce surface.

I looked that young wife in the eye and said, "What a shame that all your happiness depends only on what your husband does. If he is a good husband, if he treats you the way you think you should be treated, if he spends a little time with you— then you may find a little happiness. But when he lets you down, you have nothing left. Your whole world rises and falls on the actions of your husband. That is why you are so empty."

She nodded affirmatively, then bowed her head sheepishly while I continued. "Young lady, you're not a whole person. You're just half a person. You cannot survive if you depend on someone else for your happiness. True women's liberation means finding your own happiness, in yourself, through God's power. You must become your own person and quit depending on your husband, or someone else, to make you happy."

She knew I was right— I had hit the nail right on the head. She promised to change her way of thinking and get involved with life, herself. I left them, convinced she was determined to step out of her role as an emotional cripple and find her own source of happiness through a new relationship with God.

The True Cause of Divorce and Broken Relationships

Husbands and wives are becoming emotional cripples who lean all over each other, causing both to fall. We mess up our relationships because we live under the influence of a lie. We have convinced ourselves we have a right to happiness and that our spouses are morally obligated to create it for us. The danger of that lie is that when we can't find the happiness we expect from them, we put all the blame on their failure to do what was right.

Our divorce courts today are overcrowded with husbands and wives seeking divorce simply on the grounds that their marriage gives them no happiness. One such divorced husband told me, "God bless my dear wife; she tried so hard. I gave that woman three of the best years of my life, hoping she could learn to understand me and make me feel like a man. She just didn't have it in her. She simply did not know how to make me happy."

That man will probably get married once or twice again, hoping a new wife will succeed where the first one failed. Some keep marching down the aisle with one new partner after another, trying desperately to find one understanding soul mate who will create happiness for them. But they seldom find it. Their misery and unhappiness increase with each new marriage partner.

No other human being on earth can create happiness for you. You must create it for yourself through the work of God in your own life. Marriage is not made up of two halves trying to become a whole. Rather, marriage consists of two whole people who are bridged by the Spirit of God. Marriage never works unless each party maintains his or her own identity, settles his own values, finds his own sense of fulfillment, and discovers his own source of happiness. Each must be complete, in himself, through the Lord.

Why allow what someone else does to destroy your life? Why permit the actions of another to rob you of your peace and joy? Why can't you be your own person? Why can't you look life right in the eye and say, "From now on, I'll not allow someone else to drag me down. I am determined to be a whole person, and I will discover my own source of happiness. No more leaning on someone else to give meaning and purpose to my life! I want a happiness that will not be lost just because somebody fails me."

Step Out of Your Bondage to the Actions of Others

I say to every housewife who will hear me: "Step out of your bondage of living your life only through others." God never intended that you find happiness only through your husband or your children. I am not suggesting that you forsake them, only that you forsake your degrading bondage to the idea that your happiness depends only on other people. God wants you to discover a life of true happiness and contentment based only on what you are as a person and not on the moods and whims of people around you.

Wives who become clinging vines are not attractive to intelligent men. Husbands eventually walk all over wives who lean on them and exude an attitude that suggests, "You are my whole world, and if you ever let me down, I might as well kill myself." Wives who become independently happy and content in and with themselves suddenly become mystifyingly attractive. The truly attractive wife is the one who can say to her husband. "I love you, and I'll be your friend, but I'm a person, too. I'm going to act like a whole person and my happiness will be what I create through my own relationship with God."

This is also a message that every young person must heed to survive the pressures of broken relationships so common today How can young people find happiness when their parents are splitting up and their homes are disintegrating? They, too, need to learn not to depend on others for their happiness.

A nineteen-year-old girl confessed. "My dad and mom have been in love for over twenty-three years. I think theirs is just about a perfect marriage. If I ever learned they had been having problems and were putting on a good front just for me, I think I'd die. In fact, if my folks ever got a divorce, I'd go out and do drugs, sex, and alcohol, just to get even with them. I'd throw my life away."

"What a horrible concept," I told her. "Isn't it a shame that all your happiness depends on what your parents do? If they fail, so does your purpose in life. You will go all through life substituting others in the place of your parents. You will always have to have an idol— someone to be your good example. You will never be your own person. You will fail only because someone else fails you. What a pity!"

Our young people today must learn to find their own sources of happiness; they must no longer depend on their parents to create it for them. Thank God I am now meeting hundreds of young people who have found their own places of happiness in the Lord. One young man told me, "I love my parents, but I'm not going to allow their divorce to affect me. I'm going on with God. I have my own life to live, and I'm not going to let them drag me down by their actions."

We must give ourselves to the needs of others. We must help heal the hurts of those we love. We must get under one another's burdens, but we can do all of this only when we are happy with ourselves. We can help others find themselves only after we have found ourselves in the Lord.

There Is a Right Way to Find Happiness

I'm not one who cares much for formulas or how-to directions. But in my own experience, I have found a simple way to find a true happiness that does not depend on what others do. It is a happiness that does not come and go, and it is not affected by the moods, words, or actions of people in my life— even those I love the most.

What is that secret? I have discovered that my needs are spiritual, not physical! Our basic human needs include food, water, shelter, and the air we breathe. Beyond that, our needs are spiritual. And those needs can't be met by any human being.

All unhappiness is a result of trying to meet our needs through human relationships. When another human being fails to meet our needs, we become frustrated and unhappy. For example, the husband comes home from work tired, short-tempered, and feeling a need for a kind, understanding word from his wife. He is depressed, and he wants his wife to make him feel better. In turn, his wife has her own needs. She is feeling down, lonely, and she is wanting him to lift her spirits. So they lean on each other. The unspoken message rings out, "I'm hurting, honey, heal me. I'm down, lift me up. I'm depressed, make me happy. I'm blue, take my blues away. I'm in need, meet that need. Put your arms around me and love all the hurt out of me."

Of course, neither of them can meet the needs in the other, because those needs are spiritual, and only God can meet them. You can be in the arms of someone you love all night long and still wake up crying inside. The discovery is soon made that those needs cannot be met by sex or by a tender word. That is why some men pay a prostitute one hundred dollars a night, just to sit up and talk with them. They hope their blues can be talked away. It never works, because the next night they are seeking someone else to share their problems with.

We expect our spouses to do Godlike work. We expect miracles of them. We know only that we have overwhelming needs and that they must be met.

I have had lonely people tell me, "If only God would give me someone to love, I'd be such a better person and a better Christian. I know all my unhappiness is a result of being so alone all the time. I need a friend; only then will I be truly happy."

I say, "Not so!" Another person, male or female, may give you temporary relief from the agony of loneliness; but, unless you are a whole person, with your own source of inner strength, the old feelings of despair and loneliness will once again overwhelm you.

Two years ago, my wife and I counseled a young lady who insisted she was the loneliest girl in the state of Texas. She said, "If I could only find a husband, get married, and settle down, I'd never be lonely again." We helped pray in her prince charming. She did get married to a fine young Christian gentleman. But three months after the wedding, she was back to us in tears, crying, "I'm still lonely. I'm still empty. I know now it wasn't just the man I needed. I haven't settled things in my own life yet." That girl will never be a good wife until she learns to quit leaning on other people to meet her needs.

A young divorcee asked my wife and me to pray that her estranged husband would return. She was nearly hysterical, crying, "I want him back so badly. I know I messed up our marriage— I was so crazy and immature. But now that he's gone, I want him back. I think I've grown up. I've matured. I know I can do it right this time, but he's been dating another woman. I'm so desperate that if God won't bring him back to me soon, I'm going to go out to the nearest bar and tag on the biggest drunk you ever saw."

I informed her we would not pray for his return, because she was not ready for him. She would mess it up all over again. Why? Because she was still not a whole person. She was ready to throw her morals away if he did not come home to try once again to make her happy. That is why many people don't get such prayers answered. They are not ready to try again. They would make the same mistakes all over again, even if remarried to someone else. They are still leaning on others, always using someone else as a crutch to hold them up. They have not become whole persons, and they are not complete in themselves.

God Alone Is the Only Source of All Happiness and Contentment

Paul said, "... my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus"
(Philippians 4:19). Not your husband or your wife, pastor, psychiatrist, or your best friend— but God! Go ahead and share your problems with your friend or pastor or a professional counselor. But, in the final analysis, they can help you only if they make you face yourself. You must do it on your own— take your needs to the Lord and allow Him to make you whole. Eventually, you must get rid of every crutch and lean completely on Jesus alone.

When your relationship with the Lord is wrong, it affects all human relationships. Most Christian married couples are not having trouble with their marriages. Rather, they are having trouble with God, with faith, with prayer; therefore, they have trouble with each other.

When people confess to me that their marriages are in trouble, I don't have to dig too deeply until I discover they are not where they should be with the Lord. They are bored with the things of God, so they are bored with life and marriage. They have lost touch with God and, in turn, have lost touch with their spouses. These husbands and wives are not really suffering from a lack of communication with each other; they are suffering mostly from a lack of communication with God. When people quit talking to God, they quit talking to one another. And people who quit talking to God soon get very lonely and depressed. They are actually lonely for God, hungering for communion with Him, yearning for His close love and nearness; but, instead of recognizing these needs as spiritual, they blame their lack of fulfillment on their husbands or wives.

If most Christians were truly honest, they would have to admit there is nothing terminal about their marriage problems. What is wrong is their relationship to the Lord. Their faith is in trouble, and when people are not on right terms with God, they get frustrated and take it out on the ones they love the most. They are actually angry with themselves. That empty, restless feeling is a hunger for God. But instead of returning to the secret closet to satisfy that thirst, most Christians drift farther away and fall deeper into despair.

There is not a Christian in this world, who, deep in his heart, is not aware that God will help him. We know God can heal all our hurts; we know He can heal any marriage; we know He can wipe away every tear and bring joy. But we simply do not take the time or effort to run to Him in our hour of need.

You can be happy. You can be a whole person, and you need never again lean on another human being. That is not to say we don't need one another. We need the prayer, help, and comfort of loving friends and family. But there can be no lasting happiness if we expect others to create it for us.

Why not allow Him to renew your heart, renew a right spirit in you, and reveal to you that in His presence there is fullness of joy and pleasures evermore? That is why Jesus said,
". . . Be of good cheer. . . . Lo, I am with you always ..."
(Matthew 14:27; 28:20).

David Wilkerson, Chapter 3, Have You Felt Like Giving Up Lately?, Fleming H. Revell, 1980, pages 33-41.

If you have tried everything else
why not try Jesus?

If You Are Lonely While Away From Home At College:

Student Affairs at the University at Buffalo had this to say:

The Negative Effects of Loneliness:

"If you are lonely you may find yourself engaging in the following behaviors that perpetuate the problem:

  • You experience low self-esteem. You depend on your classmates and friends to build your self-esteem and to initiate activities, etc.
  • You blame yourself and other students for your poor social relationships. You falsely assume that nobody likes you.
  • You do not make any attempt to get involved in social activities. You expect everyone that you admire to like and include you in their activities and conversations. If they do not include you in their social activities you may become more withdrawn, angry and isolated from other activities.
  • You become self-conscious and worry unnecessarily about being evaluated by your instructors, classmates and peers.
  • You have difficulty engaging in assertive behavior. You are afraid to stand up for your rights and say "no" to unreasonable requests.
  • You avoid meeting people and new situations. You have difficulty introducing yourself, making telephone calls and participating in group activities.
  • You perceive yourself in a negative way. You become overly critical of your physical appearance.
  • You feel isolated, alone and unhappy about your situation.

    How to Overcome Loneliness & Regain a Positive Outlook:

    Loneliness can be overcome. But it depends on YOU. Only you can build your self-esteem and learn to feel good about yourself. If you are lonely, do something about it:

  • Seek out situations that enable you to get involved with other students. For example, ask someone in your class to be your study partner.
  • Learn to be assertive. If you are shy, learn to say hello or start a short conversation with the student who sits next to you in class, on the bus, etc. Get involved in class discussions.
  • Learn to enjoy life by developing your social skills. If you see someone that you like, don't just sit there and hope that the person will come to you. Make the first move. Use verbal or nonverbal cues to let the person know that you are interested in getting to know him/her. For example, make eye contact and smile. You can also go over, say "hi" and introduce yourself.
  • Get involved in organizations and activities on campus.
  • Do some volunteer work. Helping others will boost your self-esteem and make you feel good about yourself.
  • Don't judge people on the basis of your past experiences. Give your instructors, classmates and peers a chance, and try to get to know them. Remember! There are individual differences in people. Learn to admire and accept these differences.
  • When you are alone, use the time to enjoy yourself. For example, listen to music or watch a favorite television show. Do not spend the time eating endlessly or worrying about your problems."
    This info comes from the web. Web address is
    http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/loneliness.shtml

    Is what you are living for
    worth dying for?

    Loneliness:
    by Mark Evans

    "Feeling lonely at times is very human.

    There are different kinds of loneliness:
    feeling as though you don't have enough (or any) friends;
    feeling unseen or unknown by those you know;
    difficulty feeling good when alone or making use of one's time.

    Sometimes we suffer because of a false belief about ourselves:
    "If I am alone, then something must be wrong with me. Perhaps I am unlovable." This feeling may be a symptom of insufficient self love. On the other hand, growing up in a society that promotes a dependence upon, or even an addiction to external things for a sense of well being — food, clothes, drugs, other people— leaves many of us floundering when left all to ourselves. Some of us may have internalized the false view that to be happy is to be surrounded by others at all times, regardless of how we may feel in their company.

    And yet, if we can learn to be truly intimate with ourselves, then we are never alone. This sort of intimacy, however, is not always easy to come by. It may take facing the wounded, deficient parts of ourselves, as well as the wonderful, abundant parts. In many families such parts were rejected and denied, and therefore went underground, perhaps festering into a low-grade depression. Therapy frequently involves facing and integrating these rejected parts and experiences. These neglected parts of ourselves often carry a heavy burden of shame. Shame too can isolate us from others, contributing to our loneliness. Group therapy and other mutually accepting relationships can offer an antidote to shame, as we explore our common vulnerability and see that our deepest secrets are not the terrible beasts we imagined."
    University of Oregon Counseling Center
    http://www.uoregon.edu/~counsel/loneliness.htm

    Faith is daring the soul
    to go beyond
    what the eyes can see

    Bible Help to Overcome Loneliness!
    by unknown author

    "A friend told me recently, "I visited a lonely old lady just the other day. She was in a rest home, the victim of a stroke. For her, life had become bitter and frustrating. She complained because she felt her friends and family had almost deserted her. Nothing that was done for her was quite right. She felt all alone". Now this picture is not uncommon in these times. Even in areas of vast population, there are many people who are lonely. Perhaps at times, it is almost a certainty that you and I will experience this feeling of helplessness that we call loneliness.

    Many years ago in the Bible period of the Divided Kingdom of Israel, during the reign of King Ahab and his queen Jezebel, there lived a Godly man by the name of Elijah. Yet after Elijah fought against the evils of his day, and particularly after his contest on Mount Camel with the 450 false prophets of Baal, he felt that he must be all alone and he wanted to run away. He did so, and then he sat down in a cave and cried out, "I, even I only am left, and they seek my life to take it away"
    (I Kings 19:10). Now God's question to Elijah has meaning for us today. "What dost thou here, Elijah?"
    (I Kings 19:9). Of all people in the world, what are you doing here? The courageous prophet sulks alone in a cave, feeling sorry for himself and longing to die. His mood has changed from triumph to despair. Since loneliness is part of each person's experience, what are the cures for it? May I make these suggestions?

    1. Realize that such times of loneliness are common to all people, but they should be temporary. The psalmist asked himself, "Why art thou cast down, oh my soul? And why art thou disquieted within me?". And then immediately he comes back with the answer, "Hope thou in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance"
    (Psalm 42: 5).

    2. Remember that God is always available to help you overcome loneliness. One of the verses that has helped me puts it this way, "But I trusted in thee, 0 Lord. I said, thou art my God, my times art in thy hands"
    (Psalms 31:14,15). If God is directing your life, you will not have any real cause to worry or be alarmed. "In nothing be anxious", wrote the Apostle Paul, "but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God and the peace of God which passeth all understanding shall guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus"
    (Philippians 4:6,7).

    3. Decide to get busy helping others. If Elijah had answered the question "What doest thou here?", he would have had to say, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing". That was why he had time to feel sorry for himself and be lonely. God involves us in good works to our great advantage. Help those who are sick or shut-in. Call a person on the phone to cheer him up. Mail a card of sunshine to a friend. You and I are in the world to serve, to live, to help, and when we are doing this we just don't have time to feel sorry for ourselves. That's the way God answers our problems of loneliness.

    In Matthew 25:40, Jesus said, "Inasmuch as you did it unto one of these my brethren, even these last, you did it unto me".

    These suggestions might help overcome loneliness."
    http://www.bible.ca/f-loneliness.htm

    Include God in your plans
    He has you in His

    4 Bible Scriptures on Loneliness To Help You

    "Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O LORD, have never abandoned anyone who searches for you."
    Psalm 9:10

    "I am holding you by your right hand- I, the LORD your God. And I say to you, "Do not be afraid. I am here to help you."
    Isaiah 14:13

    "My eyes are always looking to the LORD for help, for he alone can rescue me from the traps of my enemies. Turn to me and have mercy on me, for I am alone and in deep distress."
    Psalm 25:15-16

    "Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close."
    Psalm 27:10

    Kraig J. Rice
    Bread On The Waters (BOW)
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    The Lonely Cabin tract (a true testimony story)

    God's 7 "I Wills" to You

    You are a Prize to God

    Help Overcoming Discouragement

    Keep At Your Work

    Encouragement For A Minister

    Encouragement for you if you are suffering

    Help during times of trial

    Help for you if you are hurting

    Take Courage, Wayworn Pilgrim Poem


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    From January 11, 2007